


Secret Admirer

by nessauepa



Category: SKAM (Norway), SKAM (TV), SKAM (TV) RPF
Genre: Adorable, And more kissing slow and sweet, Banter, Even Bech Næsheim is Extra, Even is ridiculous, Falling In Love, Fluff and Smut, Innocent love, Isak is ridiculous, Kissing, Like really extra, M/M, Secret Admirer, Teasing, Texting, believe me, but smut because they are boys in love not saints afterall, capital letters because the feeling is too much for regular ones, cheesy Even, cute Isak, damn natural connection, grumphy Isak, lame jokes, passionate and really absurd romantic gestures, pretty the same
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2018-12-20 08:04:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 25,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11916678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nessauepa/pseuds/nessauepa
Summary: Anonymous: Now, this is weirdAnonymous: You don’t know meAnonymous: But I saw you first day of school, and I can’t stop thinking about youIsak: hahahahahaha, very funny JonasAnonymous: I’m not JonasIsak: RightIsak: And I’m Queen Elizabeth, nice to meet youAnonymous: Ok, so is Jonas your boyfriend?Isak: No, wtfAnonymous: Ok, so would Jonas say that you have got the most beautiful eyes that I have ever seen?Anonymous: Like, from distance, they are so incredible. Sometimes they are green, sometimes they are darker and I can’t figure out anymoreIsak: Ok, so this is a prank--Basically, a texting fic verse where they get to know each other because Even anonymously starts sending text messages to Isak.





	1. Hold Your Morses

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Тайный поклонник](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12017601) by [TGSantiaga](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TGSantiaga/pseuds/TGSantiaga)



> Follow me on Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nessauepa

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Jonas Talk

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Honesty

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Fuck you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I don't know what happened. This came from nowhere.
> 
> Dedicated to Evakkk, thank you so much for you support and comments.
> 
> Thank you so much for everyone that left me comments. You can't understand how this makes my days.
> 
> 04:27 now Fuck you Isak and Even!

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry? 
> 
> I have a question: would you mind if I use regular description text for some parts?  
> Like, if they are gonna kiss eventually, how can I do that by texting?! And I have their first kiss already defined in my head, and it will be peculiar like their interactions in this verse! But how can I write this by text??!!
> 
> Or would you like me to stay only on texting format?


	5. Say it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a better experience, play "Black Hole Sun" from Soundgarden before start reading this chapter, ok? ;)
> 
> And I'm sorry. This is giant :o

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Im kind of deaf now, I was hearing Black Hole Sun at maximum volume to write first part.  
> 2\. This Even? Is not my fault. The fault is on everyone of you that kept cheering extra Even, ok? You are such teasers!
> 
> Thank you for following sweets <3


	6. Beneath Your Beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sweets
> 
> Thank you for all your support  
> Inspiration for this chapther: Beneath Your Beautiful - Labrinth https://open.spotify.com/track/2EcsgXlxz99UMDSPg5T8RF  
> Feel free to listen to it while reading this chapter (or not).
> 
> EDIT: OK, submitting this chapter again because some images were wrong =p
> 
> =*

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to update soon (today, tomorrow?)


	7. Black Hole Sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This should be an easy fic, they said. This should be a verse to relax my mind and write Evak stuff while I wasn't updating my other Evak verse, they said. You won't need to stay awake until 2, 3, 4, 5 in the morning, they said. 
> 
> But Evak wants what Evak wants.
> 
> So, baby girls and baby boys, this chapter is a little different from the others. This is for you. And I hope you like it.  
> You are so amazing <3
> 
> \-----
> 
> PS: Happy birthday Evakkk!!!! <3

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Isak left Jona's house that day and he was in ecstasy. For the first time, he spent an afternoon being simply himself. He didn't need to care about things that he did or didn't do. Should he be checking out a girl? Should he be excited about some first year too? This afternoon he was simply Isak. And this was an amazing feeling. This was the fucking best feeling. He felt like coming to the surface after a very long dive. He was breathing.

Before leaving, he gave Jonas their totally cool trademark handshake. That would start with a simple handshake, then they would slide their hands back and give a fist bump, making an explosion sound. It was the surprise effect, they used to say. Then a serie of the lamest and silly movements and sounds would follow it. It started when they were in seventh grade. Because they were too cool for simple handshakes. They were masters of rapping, for fucking sake.

They didn't do that every time though, after all, they were already spending almost one minute in this shit. And time to time they introduced a new element. But they always returned to that occasionally. This was their thing.

Isak really thought that they had reached the limit when they added the ice cream element. It was kind of ridiculous, and they laughed for a good ten minutes first time that they made it. Jonas would make a "V" with one hand, Isak would follow him adding a fisted hand above. Jonas would complement with another fisted hand and Isak would finish with his second hand at the top. And like that, voilà, three balls ice cream.

But as ridiculous as it was, they got used to that. It became part of their ritual too. And Isak was sure that they could reproduce it blindfolded. They could reproduce it underwater. And today, when Isak stood up to leave and gave Jonas a _"I'm hitting home"_ look. That was enough to Jonas extend a hand towards him.

They had done this one million times before. But this time, this handshake, it wasn’t like the others. Isak felt a lump in his throat, and he didn't say anything because he wasn't sure that he would be able to talk. This time it wasn't like the others. This time, Isak was paying attention to every single movement. Fist bump, seventh grade. Shaking shoulders with duck lips, eighth grade. Elbow kiss, ninth grade. High five, because, why not? Ice cream element, Jona's fifteen birthday.

Maybe Jonas noticed that, or maybe he was feeling the same way. But this time, they finished it looking into each other eyes. And this time, Jonas didn't let him go. This time, Jonas pulled him closer and hugged him. Not a tap in the shoulders kind of hug. Jonas wrapped him in his warm arms and gave it all. He gave Isak his _"Bro, you are the one that I chose to go to war with me"_ kind of hug.

And then, like that, in a boring and regular afternoon that wasn't ordinary at all. With Isak buried under a mess of black curled hair. They added a new element to their already stupidly long personal handshake. They finally added the best bro hug element.

That night Isak left Jona's house and yes, he was in ecstasy. He felt like jumping and dancing. He felt like spinning around a light pole with his umbrella, even if it wasn't raining. He felt like tapping and dancing, even though he didn't know shit about tapping, neither about dancing. But he didn't give a fucking shit. He was breathing for the first time, in a long time. And he was happy. He was light as never. So he left Jona's house. And the truth is that he didn't suppress a little jump, clicking his feet together. It was ridiculous. It was extra. It was just Even.

And then he laughed. Because Even would be proud of him. He would love to know that he just did that, in the middle of the fucking street. And of course, he was thinking about Even again. When was the time that Even wasn't on his mind these days? Even that arrived from nowhere and lightened up everything in his universe like a Big Bang. Even that was the prettiest person that Isak had ever known, even if Isak didn't know how was his appearance yet. So Isak left Jona's house that night, and his heart was so full of love. He felt like his heart could explode in his chest.

He had to tell Even everything. He talked to Jonas. Jonas that was his fucking best friend ever. The one that he would bring to a fucking war with him. The one that he would carry on his shoulders in a war if he needed to. Jonas wasn't disgusted. He didn't fucking care. He simply didn't give a shit about it. They had just talked, threw some jokes and played. Jonas passed him the Doritos and asked for the Coke. And this was it. He needed to tell Even. He needed to tell everything. Jonas hugged him. And maybe this was now part of their handshake sequence. He hoped it was part of their handshake sequence. Fuck it. It would totally be part of their handshake sequence.

So Isak took his phone out of his pocket, and he didn't care that it was late. He didn't care that it was fucking freezing outside. He wanted to tell Even. And he needed to tell him now. _Fuck. 11% battery._ And he typed everything. He typed like a fucking maniac. He typed and typed and told Even every single thing. He was rambling, he was acting like a five years old child on Christmas Eve. But he didn't care because Even would never think that what he was doing was lame or ridiculous, even though he called him ridiculous all the time. So Isak spilled everything. And he used capital letters because the feeling was too much for regular ones. Isak felt like he was always using capital letters those days anyway.

Isak’s heart was so full of Even right now. So fucking full. His mind was full of Even. His body was simply filled by Even. He was Even everywhere. And he didn't fucking care if he wasn't a face, if he didn't know him. Fuck, he knew him. He knew Even. The beautiful Even. His boyfriend. His blue eyes. His fucking guardian angel. And ok, he totally got it. He was acting like a fucking giggling teenager girl. But fuck it. He was in love. He was kind of ridiculously in love with the best person in the entire world.

And yes, maybe he was ugly as hell. But Isak gave it a thought. Of course, he thought about that. After all, he was a teenager boy. Isak paid attention to every boy with blue eyes at school. Thinking about Even, looking for Even. And one day he saw in the cafeteria one tall boy with blue eyes that he didn't find attractive at all. He just had too many pimples, and his eyes were way too separated. And he caught himself imagining that he was Even. He imagined this boy teasing him like Even used to do and talking cheesy things to him. And gosh. He could imagine himself falling in love with this boy, hugging him tightly, kissing him. If he were his Even, he would do it all. And he knew then. He just realized that he would be in love even if Even were the ugliest blue eyes boy. He fucking didn't give a shit.

Even would always be his Even that kept making him bursting out laughing when all that he was trying to do was to stay angry. He was the one that listened to every single crap that Isak poured into him. With nothing less than care and love. Even that always knew the right thing to say to reach Isak's soul. Even that loved him first. That found him and decided to took chances in life.

Isak felt for the first time in a long time that he was someone else’s baby. And even though he was almost eighteen, he wanted nothing more than being cuddled and cared. Maybe because this was robbed from him in his childhood. Or maybe he was just needy per nature. But under all the rapping and backpacks he just wanted to have someone to tell him beautiful things. Someone that could see under his mask. Sometimes he felt like he was a baby inside. Who used to feel scared and lonely. But not anymore.

Isak was walking alone in the street in a cold freezing night. He couldn't see a single soul around. But he didn't feel alone now. He felt Even's love in him like it was something touchable. Like it was a warm blanket. The biting cold wind was turning his cheeks rosy, but his body wasn't feeling cold. He was feeling alive and awake. His mind was clear as the sky tonight.

Isak stopped for a while and tilted his head up, closing his eyes. He exhaled the cold air, blowing it from his parted mouth. The freezing wind brushing his lips. And Isak only wished he could close his eyes like that and feel Even on his lips instead. No talking, no figuring out anything. Isak wanted just to be able to pour all the love that he was feeling right now in that kiss. He would give himself to Even. He would give him all. Even already had every little piece anyway. So Isak kept his eyes closed and imagined that the cold wind between his lips was Even instead. Brushing his lips gently and giving him tickles. And his chest started clenching and hurting because he needed it. He needed him so fucking much right now. Just for tonight.

Isak opened his eyes and stared at a tree ahead. He stared and stared at it. But his mind and heart were somewhere else. _Even_. And before the idea was completely formed in his mind, he knew how stupid it was. But maybe Jonas was right after all. He was only mocking him, of course. But right now in the middle of this street, feeling Even present everywhere, he wasn't making up enough motives to don't give it a try. What if they could give a kiss as they texted? No talking and no nothing, only kissing? Isak needed just one kiss. He wasn't asking any more. One kiss. A fucking kiss. In this fucking night.

So before he could give it a second thought, he texted Even about it. Because the thing about Isak is that he was always overthinking everything. He was always analyzing and policing himself. He couldn't tell if he was always like that or if at some point this became part of him. But not tonight. Not with Even. Tonight he would take a leap of faith. He would give himself to someone else. He would pour his soul into this ridiculous boy. _Even. Can you hear me? I think I love you too._

Isak went to the schoolyard, and he felt stupid for a second. He sat in the gutter, and he burst out laughing. Then he got his phone and started typing. Even wasn't responding. _Fuck_. But he was invested. He just typed his soul out to Even. He typed everything. And he told him that he loved him. He pressed send and kept staring at the screen. Waiting. Waiting for the little bubble.

Black screen. Out of battery.

Isak stared at the black screen for a while with no reaction. He stared and stared at it until his brain started working again. Full capacity. All at once. _Fuck._

Would Even see this message? What if he didn't see it? But, what if he saw it? Would he come here? They would kiss. Tonight. He would kiss the boy that he was in love with. He didn't know how to do that. What if Even thought that it was too early and Isak was pushing him when all that Even had done was to respect Isak’s time? Or what if Isak wasn't prepared? What if Isak screwed everything between them? What if Isak pushed away the best thing in his life? Maybe Even was coming. Maybe he was on his way right now. _Jesus Fucking Christ. I’m fucked._

_What do I do? Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck._

Isak didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to kiss a boy. He had kissed before. But it was always very mechanic and cold. He was always on a mission. He didn't know how to deal with it. _Shit_. That was why he always fucking thought a lot. To avoid being trapped in shit like that. Isak's heart was racing in his chest, and he was starting to feel nauseous. Great. Everything that he needed now. Even coming and finding him freaking out. Isak was breathing and breathing, but the air wasn't filling his lungs. He wasn't receiving enough air. He was suffocating. So he breathed, breathed, breathed. Faster and faster. Searching for air. _Bad move, bad move._ Isak's mind started getting dizzy and his vision becoming blurry. His mind decelerating like if his brain wasn't receiving enough blood flow. _Shit. Shit. Shit._

Isak opened his eyes widely and shook his head trying to feel his body again. But he wasn't feeling his limbs entirely anymore. He only noticed a cold sweat on his skin. He was feeling like an astronaut on the moon, like he was in slow motion. He needed to put his shit together. Like right now. He focused his brain on a simple task, like give a step forward. It was chill. He forced one foot forward. And then another. One more. And another.

Isak reached the bench, and he sat there, trying to catch his breath. Isak was panicking, and he was familiar with the feelings. He had had his quota of panic attacks in his life. He hated it. He hated how it made him feel weak. He started feeling just ridiculous. Sat like that, on this cold night and feeling like shit in this totally absurd situation. He just wanted to feel chill and normal. He was way too nervous right now. And he felt his eyes getting wet. _Fucking great. Like. Really great. Start crying now, with Even maybe minutes away. Then he will just see how ridiculous you are._

But these thoughts weren't helping at all. He felt his chest heavy, and he was trying to breathe slowly through his mouth trying to hold the tears in his eyes. That was why he didn't do things like that. That was exactly why. He felt like a baby right now. Like a ridiculous baby. Maybe he should go home. He could tell Even that he couldn't deal with it. He would understand that. He was sure of that.

Even always understood him. Isak wasn't prepared. It was ok. Even told him that it was ok. Even told him that he could have as much time as he needed. And Isak was starting feeling alone again. And this was also not helping with the tear in his eyes. He felt like it was too much to deal right now. He felt like crying, and maybe he was even pouting a little. But fuck it. He just wanted to go home and feel safe. He just wanted to go home and talk to Even. He would call him baby boy and the bad feelings would start going away. Even would make him laugh and be chill again. He just wanted to go home and ask Even to say beautiful things to him again.

 _Even._ He just wanted Even right now. And this was totally crazy. He was fucking freaking out because Even was coming and he just wanted to go away and ask him to calm him down. Isak closed his eyes and started thinking about the only thing that made him calm down these days. _Blue eyes._ He kept breathing and thinking about Even's eyes. He wanted so badly to have battery right now to stare at the picture on his phone. But at this point, he had probably memorized exactly how Even's eyes looked like. He stared at that a lot. Every night before sleeping. Every time that things started becoming too much. He breathed and breathed. _Blue eyes._

He wanted Even now. And he was sounding like a fucking child, asking for his mommy. But he didn't want to feel anxious like that. He just wanted to feel safe and talk to him. He wanted to feel safe like he felt when they were texting. It was chill, even though their talks gave Isak all range of feelings. Feelings that he didn't even think that he could have. He wanted just to close his eyes and talk to Even. Fucking stupid battery. _Blue eyes. Blue eyes. Blue eyes._

Isak mind was getting clearer, and he opened his eyes just staring at the schoolyard. That was the time. He needed to decide now. To go home would not be a shame. He wanted to go home and tell Even about everything. About his night. He wanted to tell him how he felt happy and like tapping. He wanted to say he was sorry, but that this was too overwhelming and he was simply not prepared yet. And he wanted to ask him to say beautiful things to him again. Maybe Even could say beautiful things to him every day? He just wanted that. And he just wanted to close his eyes and to see beautiful blue eyes. And he just wanted to breathe in a cold night and feel like it was Even's lips on his own. No anxiety. He just wanted to close his eyes and kiss Even.

Isak closed his eyes and inspired deeply. _Blue. Blue. Blue._ And the familiar warm feeling started spreading across his chest. Isak stayed like that for a couple more minutes and then he opened his eyes staring blankly at nothing. And before he could consciously notice that, he caught himself mumbling that shit little song of Even.

_Every little thing he does is magic._

And he smiled because this night was already completely nonsensical. _Everything he does just turn me on._ And Isak couldn't remember much more from this shitty song. But he kept mumbling it like a mantra. _Every little thing he does is magic. Everything he does just turn me on._

Without stop whispering the song and before Isak's mind could really register that. His hands were reaching his scarf. He held it in his hands and looked at that. _Every little thing he does is magic._ He raised his eyes scanning the schoolyard in silence. He just wanted to kiss him as they texted. _Even._

Isak opened his eyes widely, and he stopped overthinking. He started feeling the cold biting wind in his cheeks once again. Isak brought the scarf close to his face, and he felt the soft texture on his cheeks. _Every little thing he does is magic_ Isak raised his voice and started really singing.

 _Every little thing he does is magic. Everything he does just turn me on. Every little thing. Every little thing. Every little thing._ He felt his spirit raising again and a grin forming on his lips. He was probably ridiculous. But he was feeling it again. All the ridiculous feelings. _Every little thing he does is magic._ Still singing Isak brought the scarf to his forehead and pressed it there, closing his eyes. _Even._ He sighed, and the next second his hands were wrapping it around his eyes. _Fuck it. Kissing as we text. Just like that._

Isak kept mumbling the song. Only the two verses that his mind could remember now. But they made him calmer. The cold night was helping to keep his mind clear. And he was grateful for that. _Every little thing he does is magic. Even. Even. Even. Kissing as we text._

He was fucking nervous. But he wanted it. He wanted it so badly. And he thought that if Even could stop the entire school just to show him his love. Maybe it was time for Isak to take chances too. He would only stay there. Eyes closed. And if Even came, they would see what would happen. Maybe they would kiss as they texted. Simple. They would kiss like the wind.

Isak took a deep breath. And yes, Isak always thought a lot. But once he decided something. It was for good. So he was feeling nervous as hell. His chest going up and down crazily. But he was determined now. _This is it._

Isak waited and waited. He waited until his breath was almost regular again. Until he forgot that shitty song. He waited, and then he realized how shitty was all this fucking plan. What if Even was asleep and never saw his message? How long should he stay on this bench with this absurd scarf in his eyes? But Isak waited anyway. He waited for what felt like hours. He couldn't make himself to go home.

He couldn't tell how long it was since his last message to Even. Thirty minutes? One hour? More? He was completely lost. How long would take to Even arrive at school? He didn’t know anything of that. But at least he was becoming calmer as the minutes passed. Even didn’t see his message. _Maybe he simply didn't want to see you. Or kiss you. Maybe it was only a prank. Or a dare._ A little voice in his head told him. But Isak didn’t really believe in that. He had it in his heart. He felt loved.

So yes. Even was probably sleeping right now. But it was ok. It was chill. They could discuss it tomorrow. Isak could call him Sleeping Beauty or some shit like that. Maybe he could find some shitty meme about that. Isak would talk to him tomorrow. So everything would be ok. _We are boyfriends._ Isak thought that and he felt that now familiar butterflies in his stomach. Ok, they didn't know each other exactly, but they had committed to each other. And it felt so good in Isak's heart.

So yes. Isak was kind of disappointed. But he was also a little relieved too. At least he could calm down now. He couldn't wait to charge his phone and send Even a message. Isak raised his hands to remove the scarf from his eyes. But before he could do that, his heart stopped.

Isak jumped up from the bench in one millisecond. His sharp senses were hearing the sound of a steady thump. Hitting rhythmically and fast the pavement. Becoming louder and louder and louder. Someone was running near the schoolyard! He immediately felt an electric current running from the bottom of his spine until his brain. He fucking paralyzed. Like a deer caught in headlights. _Jesus fucking Christ_ . _Is it Even?_ Maybe it was someone else. Maybe he was going to to be robbed. What should he do? What should he do? Isak's heart was trying to escape his chest. Should he keep the scarf? Should he remove it and check it? _Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God._

He decided that he should remove the scarf when the footsteps became closer and closer and then slowed down the pace until they stopped. Whoever was there, this person wasn't more than steps away from Isak. And before any more thoughts crossed Isak's mind. He heard it.

_Black hole sun_

_Won't you come?_

_Won't you come?_

_EVEN._

_Jesus Fucking Christ. It was fucking Even._ He was fucking there. Even was fucking there and playing Black Hole Sun. Their supposed fucking first kiss song. And he was only steps away from him. Even was there. His Even. Like, The Even. Even that didn't leave his mind a damn second during the day. Even that was causing him a fucking heart attack right now. Even that was making him feel his whole body shaking. Even that he didn't know yet, even if he knew him a lot. Even that attracted him like a damn black hole sun.

 _My boyfriend_. And this thought made Isak's stomach hurt so good. He was totally nervous and shaking the shit out of him. But he was also excited. And anxious. Actually, Isak couldn't start describing all range of feelings that he was experiencing right now. Even was there. How was someone supposed to deal with this? He didn't know how was one supposed to greet a person that you didn't know, but you already loved.

Isak was a nervous wreck, breathing like his lungs were trying to escape his chest. And Isak's keen sense was hearing Even's heavy breath near him. Even's breath was even more frenetic than Isak's himself. He was probably running before. Even was running to meet him. Isak's heart clenched in his chest. He had never had before someone doing things like that for him. And he didn't know what to do. What do you do when you meet the only person that made his heart skip beats in his entire life?

They were there. Together. And lsak would be smiling if he wasn't keeping his lips apart to breath right now. Because he just thought that they were kind of together together. Like, physically, of course. But also emotionally? They had decided to be committed to each other. They decided to be each other ones, even before they meet each other. How is one supposed to deal with this? And Even was running because of Isak. He was running towards Isak. And Isak felt everything in this fucking freezing cold night that was somehow making him feel so warm inside. His entire body was burning.

Isak didn't know what to do. Would Even kiss him already? Like that? And Isak was nervous but also excited. He was happy that he made it. That he stayed. Because nothing scared more than the thoughts of doing something that is exciting but unknown. Isak was freaking out before like someone close to a plane door about to jump. But Isak was there, and he was proud of himself. Even was there. He could hear him breathing hardly near him. And this sound was giving him shivers. Even's breath and the Black Hole Sun chords filling his entire soul. And then Isak just waited. In front of that plane door.

They probably stayed like that for a minute or more. Just close to each other. Not moving. Just a breathing mess on that freezing night. And Isak's heart was beating so loudly in his chest that he wondered if Even could hear it. Isak was growing anxious and anxious. He didn't know what would Even do now. He couldn't see a damn thing. What if he kissed him straight away. No warn. Would Isak be able to handle it? Isak waited, waited. Until this was becoming strange. Even wasn't moving at all. But he was still there. Isak could feel him.

And then Isak realized. Of fucking course. Even wasn't moving. Even was waiting for him to make the first move. Because Even was always trying to make him comfortable. All the fucking time. Even just knew him. Too well. Isak felt his stomach twisting inside him. Hurting so fucking good. And he was kind of glad now that he had his eyes hidden, cause he didn't trust them to stay dry right now. Even was waiting for him. And this realization just gave Isak a feeling of certainty. Certainty about this night. Certainty about Even. Certainty about his love. Isak was completely full right now. Full of love.

Isak would get this boy. _My boy._ And he would do this right now. He couldn't wait one more second. If they only had that night. That didn't matter to Isak right now. He needed to feel him. Even if for just one fucking night. _Fuck it all._

And so he did. He forced one foot forward slowly. He gave the first step, and he felt Even's breath failing. And Isak wasn't sure right now if he was breathing himself. He wasn't feeling his body completely. But he was feeling courageous right now. Even always gave him strength and made him feel in control. _This unbelievable boy._

And walking towards Even, right now in this fucking freezing night. Isak just felt so right. He felt like the stars were aligning or some bullshit like that. He never felt anything like that before. Even though his heart was beating crazily inside his chest and he couldn't control his body entirely. He was living. He was alive. He was right here, right now. Isak moved slowly another foot forward. Moving his body closer.

Isak could feel that they were very close. Even's breath so fucking close. But Even wasn't moving at all. He was waiting. But he wasn't running away either. He was there. For Isak. Because of Isak. Even left his home in the middle of the night on a fucking cold night. Because of Isak. Because Isak had a dumb idea and wanted to meet him. With no previous warn. He just texted Even. And Even was there. And gosh. Isak was feeling too much right now. Moving towards his boyfriend, he felt so fucking right. He felt so powerful. And his fucking heart was probably trying to show that he was powerful too, because God, this bastard was working like never tonight.

 _Jesus Christ._ Isak could feel him right there. Even was so close. He could feel his body heat. Even was there and he wasn't saying a single word. He was waiting. And Isak felt like dying and like fainting. How is someone supposed to deal with this amount of feelings? So he was proud of himself, because he was still there, still moving one foot in front of another. Even though his entire body was trembling. He couldn't control it. He was only focusing in keep moving forward.

 _Even. Even. Even._ Even was there. He could almost touch him right now. Even. Beautiful Even. Even Black Hole Sun. Even. Ridiculous. Boyfriend. Baby. Isak was in love. He only felt love, and his mind was screaming _EVEN EVEN EVEN._ His thoughts were loud. They were in capitalized letters. _EVEN._

Isak gave one more step, and he gasped. Because he felt his hair brushing Even's head. And he froze once again. Isak stopped moving. He could feel Even's breath on his skin giving him tickles. And he felt a cold feeling in his stomach. Isak wasn't religious. But if he were. He would ask God for just one more minute alive. That was the most important moment of his life. He was so close. So damn close. He was in love. He was so fucking in love. _Gosh_ . Could Even hear his heart? _Beat Beat Beat._

They were there. They were in the same space. They were breathing each other. Isak was fucking breathing him. And he felt overwhelmed. He could feel Even's smell. Even smelled like baby powder. It was intoxicating, and it was making Isak feel high.

 _One more step and I will touch you, baby._ And Isak took the leap of faith. He dove off of the safety of the plane. Cause how could he don't do that? This was Even. And he was so fucking in love. He was sure that he would jump in any universe. Isak would wait in every universe. Even if he made him sick to the stomach. He would jump every time.

One more step and Isak's nose touched Even's one. Isak gasped in surprise and felt Even shaking under his touch. Isak’s heart was exploding in his chest, and he was overwhelmed. He was fucking everything right now. He didn't even think about the kiss, about anything. He just felt. In this fucking minute, he felt everything.

He felt Even's nose brushing his own slightly and he felt the warm of Even's body. And he felt Even's intoxicating smell. And his head was getting dizzy. And he was high. And he was Even. And he was breathing through his lips. And his mind partially noticed Even's moving and getting closer. And he gasped again. And he felt. Everything. Every fucking thing.

 _Even, I love you. I love you. I love you._ Isak mind was lost. They didn't say a word. Isak couldn't see a single thing. He just felt. He felt so much love.

Isak was living. He could touch and feel Even. His boyfriend. Isak and Even. Who decided together to be committed to each other even before they met. Because they simply loved each other. And Isak was feeling so fucking much right now. The kiss completely forgotten. He felt a lump in his throat. They were lost and confused without each other. And it didn't matter if they had things to figure out yet. It didn’t matter if they were two boys. Two boys in love. Because this feeling, their feeling was more than this. That was everything, actually.

Isak didn't think about the kiss. He hadn't questions and doubts in his mind anymore. It didn't matter now. He was living. He was feeling. He was right there. And maybe Even would never know that he just saved him. Forever. He changed everything.

So, yes, Isak didn't remember about kissing, about what he was supposed to do or say or think. He felt all these feelings escaping his body and he just had no other choice. He wrapped Even with all these feelings. Isak leaned in and wrapped Even in his arms. And he held him tightly. He felt Even bringing his hands to his waist. And he shivered under his touch. Even was wrapping his arms around Isak's lower back and pulling him even closer. They were both pulling each other closer as their lives depended on it.

And maybe Even felt the same way, because Isak felt him sighing in his ear and holding him. Holding him for his life. It didn't matter if they kissed or not. Not right now. They were two souls that just needed to be with each other. Isak needed Even. He buried his fingers in Even's back. Maybe it would leave marks there. But Even didn't complain. They didn't say a word.

And this was how they just met each other. No kissing and no talking. Just feelings. Like when they texted. Just loving.

  


Their chests were glued together, and Isak could feel Even's heartbeat on his entire body. Even's heart was beating as faster as his own heart. And Isak was sure that Even could feel it too. Their hearts were beating together for the first time. But they weren't synchronized. They were beating loudly and uncoordinatedly. Like two puppies just too happy to see their owners.

And they hugged and hugged on that cold night. But they were warm inside. Isak's entire being was hot. They hugged and hugged. And they weren't saying a word. But their bodies were saying everything. They were holding for their lives, and their bodies were screaming _I'm here, baby. I'm here. I'm here, baby boy. I got you. We are here. We found each other once again. In this universe too._

And yes, Isak sometimes felt like he was a baby. Sometimes he felt needy and desperate for love. And he only wanted to hear beautiful things. But right now, holding Even in his arms. He only felt like taking care of him. Maybe it was his keen senses making him feel too much. But he only felt like giving, and not like receiving. Maybe he was feeling too much. But he felt like Even was just in so much need as he was. And Isak just wanted to give him everything. He wanted to give himself to Even. Maybe they were just meant to save each other. In every universe.

And maybe there was another Even and another Isak in another universe, that really lived together happily. But Isak would never in a million years exchange places with them. He was way too sure this was the best universe. They were the luckiest ones. Or maybe every Even and every Isak just thought that every time, every universe. But Isak would bet all his chips in this universe. He would go all in.

So they hugged and hugged until their hearts started beating together and calmed down. They hugged and held each other tight until Isak's mind was getting intoxicated by Even's smell. Isak would never in a million years forget this smell. Baby powder. So he just leaned down and brushed his nose gently on Even's neck. Maybe it was because his nose was cold, but he felt Even shaking under his touch. But he kept doing it. First, because he could. And second, because Even's baby smell was making it impossible to Isak to fucking think. His brain was being poisoned. In the best way possible.

And this didn't help Isak with his dizzy brain. Because now he was only feeling it much stronger. He was feeling Even's baby perfume entering under his skin and running in his veins. And even though Isak had just known how it felt to hold Even close. He needed it all. He needed to feel everything. Isak's mind was intoxicated, and he couldn't really stop his nose brushing all across Even's skin, through Even’s neck, through Even's cheek. And he didn't really want to.

Isak's sharp senses were making everything too much. And he couldn't see. But he could smell and feel Even everywhere. And Isak was feeling brave right now. So he just pressed his lips softly in Even's cheek, brushing his lips there for a while. And Isak felt how Even leaned under his touch. And this made Isak's heart melt in his chest. Even was in just so much need as himself.

He felt Even pulling him, always closer and closer, even if this was physically impossible by now. And Isak didn't remember right now why it took him so long to had all his doubts go and just be there. In this moment. He just kept running his nose and lips all over Even's skin. He just needed to feel him. He just wanted to show Even his love. To show how fucking much he was feeling right now. And Isak brushed their noses together again. And he couldn't ever have imagined that brush someone else's nose could feel like that.

And Even was there. For him. And he was just there, just letting Isak do whatever Isak needed to do. And what Isak needed was to feel him. So he ran his nose slowly all over Even's cheek. And he tilted his head slightly up sometimes to gently press his lips there. And he ran his lips across Even's face. And he gave him a sweet kiss on his jaw. He felt Even melting and he couldn't really say that he wasn't melting inside himself. He just needed to savor him. To inhale him. And nothing was being enough.

Isak was there with a boy. And fuck. He was there with the boy. And nothing was being enough right now. So Isak pulled back a little and brought both hands to cup Even's face. He felt Even tilting his head to one side leaning against the touch. But he wasn't making moves. He was just giving him to Isak. He was fucking offering himself as a gift. And Isak felt like he could love this boy for the rest of his life. How could anyone stop loving someone like Even? _His ridiculous boy._ Isak raised both his palms to Even's forehead and started tracing Even's face under his palms. He followed Even's eyebrows with his index finger and brushed his thumbs over Even's closed eyes. _My blue eyes._

Isak ran down his hands through Even's face reaching his mouth. And he felt Even then parting his lips. Even was parting his lips for him. And this made things to Isak's stomach. Isak kept exploring Even's face, brushing one index finger slowly, contouring the lines of Even's upper lip. And then over his lower lip. Touching and feeling the soft texture there. _So full. And of course, Even has lips like that. Of fucking course._

And maybe this was the trigger. Or maybe it was that fucking song chorus raising around them. Or maybe it was just that Isak's feelings were now too strong to refrain. After being poisoned and intoxicated by Even. But the thing is that Isak needed so fucking much to feel Even. More. More. More. And not because he wanted to kiss a boy or because he felt somehow that they had an agreement to meet and kiss. It was just pure and simply need. And the same Isak that was freaking out about that one hour ago was now simply in urge. His feelings for Even was overflowing his body right now, and he just felt like he needed to refrain it somehow. He was so fucking in love.

And Isak didn't really know how should he do that. He just knew that he wanted to give Even the same choice that he was always giving him. He just felt inside his body a need to care and protect him, even though he had just met him. He just felt like Even's soul was too precious. Like he needed to protect it. And even if this was completely nonsensical, Isak still have it inside him. Because Even, right now, at this moment. He was Isak's entire life. So Isak brought both hands to cup Even's face and leaned closer, pressing their foreheads together. And then brushing their noses slowly, asking silently for permission. And Isak waited. He waited for a signal and Even's approval. Even if he felt like he was about to burst.

  


And Even wasn't pulling away. Even wasn't running away. Even just sighed and leaned closer. And Isak heart was hurting. It was fucking hurting. His mind was nowhere to be found. Too overwhelmed with all this. Isak wasn't thinking anymore. He was just a great ball of feelings. Feelings that he never thought that existed. And in this second, tilting his head up, Isak just felt like he could fucking explode. Love. It was all that Isak felt.

And on a fucking cold night. In a desert schoolyard. With a scarf in his eyes. Isak discovered how it was to feel complete. Isak joined their lips gently together. And when he felt Even's soft lips on his own. He knew then that he had never really kissed before. No kiss was real. No one made him feel his insides burning from just touching lips. And even though Isak needed more, he was slow. Hurtfully slow.

Their lips touched, and Isak felt his entire body being electrified. And he felt his mind going completely dizzy. Poisoned by Even. He felt Even on his lips, and when they moved their lips together, slowly, Isak was gone.

They were only touching, measuring and feeling through each other mouths. Isak felt Even's mouth wrapping his lower lip. And he melted inside. And then they pressed their lips together again and again. They kissed gently. Just feeling each other lips. And when Isak heard that fucking song raising to the chorus he just tilted his head up more and more and parted his lips for Even.

He never felt so raw like that. Like he was opened and exposed to Even. _And Gosh. What a feeling._ But he also felt totally comfortable. That was like this was supposed to be. They were supposed to be kissing in any universe. That was just right. So yes, Isak tilted up his head and parted his lips. He offered himself to Even. And he just wanted from life to feel Even inside his mouth and pour all the love that he was feeling inside his being in that kiss. He wanted to pour his soul out for Even. He would willingly give his soul to Even right now. And when Even joined their mouths together, parting his lips, Isak just had one thought in mind. _I love you._

And how was one supposed to deal with a kiss like that? How was someone supposed to kiss while feeling every single fiber of his being in love? Black Hole Sun raised to the chorus. And Isak felt Even's tongue touching his own. And Isak heart exploded. Black Hole Sun. And his mind exploded. And everything just exploded. Leaving only feelings in the place. No Isak anymore. And Isak was dying. Even though he was living like never. While everything was just exploding inside him. Leaving only feelings behind.

  


And they kissed and kissed and kissed. Even always holding him for his life. Even was his black hole sun. He was everything. And right now. Even was him. And he was Even. They were simply one. Right there in that fucking freezing night. They were kissing and kissing. They were dancing their tongues together. And Even was brushing Isak's soul in the process.

They kissed and kissed. And Isak didn't know how they would be able to ever stop. And he didn't really care about that. So they kissed and kissed even more. Their mouths only being apart to breathe and then seeking for each other again with hurtful urgency. Uncoordinatedly, messy, but always finding each other again. They were simply one. And kissing for their lives. And hugging for their lives. And even then Isak mind was able to form a thought. And Isak would never forget that thought. Isak would never forget that feeling. _My life was worth it._

And Even was wrong after all. Because their first kiss. Isak's and Even's first kiss didn't have 5:18 like the song. Isak couldn't really tell how long they kissed. But Isak's mind got glimpses of that song starting again and again. And Isak and Even kissed. They took kissing to a whole new level. And Isak loved Even. And he tried to show it to Even through that kiss. And he felt loved back. And he felt everything.

And when this was already becoming ridiculous, Isak and Even pulled apart slowly. But how was someone supposed to stop a kiss like that? Isak didn't know. And apparently neither did Even. Because Even kept joining their lips together, giving pecks to Isak's lips. And sometimes taking more time. Keeping their lips together for a couple more seconds. And Isak's heart was miraculously still there, cause Isak could feel it melting in his chest.

And apparently they weren't strong enough to stop it. Cause they didn't. They kept giving each other mouths sweet pecks until the whole situation was kind of really ridiculous. And Isak started feeling on his lips Even's smile with every kiss. And Isak wasn't sure when, but he started smiling too. And they were giving each other kisses and smiling on each other mouths. Until Isak heard Even giggling. He fucking giggled. And Isak felt tickles in his entire body.

"I love you," said Even low.

Isak froze hearing Even's voice. Such a deep voice. And this gave Isak shivers in his entire body. And his heart? Apparently, Isak's rib cage wasn't good enough, cause he could swear that his heart was trying to escape it now. And just when Isak thought that he couldn't feel anything more on this fucking night. Even pressed their lips together once more. And laughed. And Isak was it now. A complete wrecked mass.

And apparently now they were talking to each other. At least Even was talking. And Isak didn't know exactly what to say. He was still feeling dizzy and overwhelmed.

"You were not supposed to talk," said Isak low, and feeling stupid immediately.

"What?" said Even with his deep voice, and then he burst out laughing like the fucking sun.

And Isak couldn't avoid a stupid grin on his face. And he thought that Even's laugh was the most delicious sound that he had ever heard. He only wanted to hear this sound from now on. The rest of his life.

"So I can kiss you, but I can't talk to you?" Even said low, seductively, pulling him closer by Isak's waist.

And Isak shivered because he couldn't bare this voice. Or maybe it was because of this feeling. Being so close that you can't know where each one start. That wasn’t something that he was used yet. Or maybe it was only Isak that would always think that every little thing that comes out of Even's mouth would be seductive, since he was completely gone for this boy. And Isak wasn't totally over the fact that Even had such a deep voice. Gosh, he loved it so much. He loved Even's voice. Even’s baby smell. Even's height. Even's laugh. He was in love with him, and he was falling in love with every little new thing. Ok, so, yes. Giggling school girl. Checked. And Isak rolled his eyes mentally.

"Shut up," said Isak, mostly because he didn't really know what to say right now without completely letting Even know how dumb he was for him right now.

But Even just laughed and gave him a peck on the lips. _Oh boy._ Isak's heart maybe would not survive this night. Maybe he would melt before he had a chance to go home. And maybe Isak would not care at all. That was a night that would worth a life. And then Isak rolled his eyes on his head once again. Because apparently, he was this kind of ridiculous right now. But he couldn't give less shit about it. He was here, outside, living. He was here, with his love in his arms, being held like if he were the most precious thing in the world. Being kissed like his mouth had the answers to the questions about life, the universe and everything else. So yes. He was kind of ridiculous, and he wasn't giving a shit about it.

"Baby," said Even unsure. Like he was testing it out there.

And Isak's heart fucking skipped a beat on his chest. Now it is gone. Bury me because I don't have a heart anymore. Cause of death: my boyfriend called me baby in the most overwhelming night of my life.

"Baby," said Even with more conviction. And these words dancing on Even's lips were making Isak's mind get high.

"You are my baby, Isak," whispered Even.

"Yes," Isak pronounced this slowly and clear.

And this word. This yes. That meant much more than just three letters. They meant a lot. They were Isak's first demonstration of love. They were Even's confirmation of Isak interest. They were Isak accepting to be his boyfriend. And Even, the fucking cheesy bastard that he was would never in a million years miss this. So he held Isak's cheeks with both hands and pressed a kiss to Isak's mouth. Keeping their mouths hardly together for a couple of seconds. And when Isak was starting to feel breathless Even began attacking him with pecks to his lips and Isak wasn't sure about his life anymore. Maybe he could have forgotten his own name by now.

"I," Even kissed him hardly.

"Fucking," Even kissed him again.

"Love," Even continued his attack.

"You," Even gave a last kiss and kept his lips together for a good three seconds.

Then he let go Isak's lips and Isak wasn't Isak anymore. He was just something that needed to be released, otherwise he felt like he could explode.

"I love you," Isak said low.

And he said that not that loud as Even or as intense as him. He didn't say that between kisses or anything. He just spilled like that. But Even probably got the message. Even probably understood the meaning of Isak's words. Of course he did. Even was the one that always saw right through him. That knew him better than anyone even by text messages. And Even got it. Because Even pulled Isak's waist close and hugged him once again.

"Isak. You are my life now," Isak heard him whispering in his ear.

And Isak didn't reply. But he knew that Even was saying only their truth. And maybe they were just two boys in love for the very first time and being ridiculously in love in a ridiculous first meeting. But Isak didn't feel like that. He felt like he had just found Even and found himself in the process. He was lost in the universe. And now he wasn't anymore.

Yes, so much for a fucking school night. And he smiled. Because this was such a lame thing to think right now, while he was being wrapped by Even. While they were confessing all the love that they felt for each other. But Isak was just happy, and his mind was happy. And the universe was happy. And the bench would be probably happy too if he could feel what Isak was feeling right now.

"Good," said Isak after a while.

This made Even chuckle buried under Isak's curls. And Isak smile got wider.

"Good? Such a romantic" repeated Even still laughing.

"Good," repeated Isak. "Because you are mine, too," said Isak low.

"Oh," Even didn't say any more word, but Isak felt Even hugging him tighter. And he let him. Of course he let him.

Isak had no idea what time was it. But it couldn't be less than 2 in the morning. In a fucking freezing night. But he couldn't think about leaving Even right now. Instead, he just hugged him even more.

"Isak, you are freezing," said Even pulling apart a little.

But Even was still keeping his hands holding Isak's waist. Actually, Even had never stopped holding Isak since he first laid his hands on him. And Isak felt like he wouldn't be able to live any other way.

"I don't want to go home. I just want to stay here with you," _Forever._ said Isak shyly.

Isak felt Even melting under his touch. And he felt so happy. And so powerful. And so so so everything. He was completely undeniably full right now.

"Isak, do you think that I would go on a date with my boyfriend on a freezing night and don't bring blankets with me?" Even said simulating an offended voice.

But Isak just smiled hearing Even referencing him as his boyfriend. _Gosh._ Would him get used to that someday?

"We can stay here. Together," said Even. "And we can use the blankets to keep our lives in the process. As much as it would be very epic and romantic to die of love and hypothermia the night that we met. I don't want to die right now. Not when I just met you".

Isak just smiled shyly. And the next minute he choked because Even joined their mouths together once again. But this time they didn't have a ridiculous long kiss. Even kissed him so softly. Slowly and with so much tenderness. They were touching their tongues slowly and kissing softly. So fucking softly. Isak felt his whole body melting.

And when they pulled apart, Isak didn't know how things would be from that moment on. But he was sure of something. Nothing would be the same ever again. And Isak and Even brushed their noses together softly once again. And Isak didn't know a lot of things, but he knew that they had just found their handshake.

**Bonus**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3
> 
> Ok, sweets.  
> I hoped you liked it. And I hope it wasn’t too cheesy or too extra and ridiculous.  
> Anyway. If you read it until here…I'm really happy :’)  
> And now I need your opinion to keep writing it....
> 
> 1\. Should they return to texting each other next chapter  
> 2\. Or do you want to see their mythical cuddling night in the middle of this freezing night. (Pillow) talking and stuff under a school yard tree?
> 
> Anyway we will have probably a lot of dialogues, bantering, fluff, teasing. Evak everywhere.


	8. The Book of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3  
> I hope you like it as much as I liked writing it.  
> Thank you so much for all your support.

Even had spread a blanket over the grass near the bench where they met. And somehow both of them were now laying there on their sides, facing each other. Or as much as someone with a scarf over his eyes can face anything. Even had thrown another blanket over them, so that they were only with their heads uncovered in the middle of this fucking crazy night. 

Under the blanket, they were a messy knot of intertwined legs and arms. Holding each other always. Now that they had started it, Isak couldn't make himself to stop it. Even was like a magnet with opposite pole. Isak just had to hold and touch him. 

Isak was so fucking happy. His mind was setting fireworks. His mind was probably giving a full-bodied twirl with its arms outstretched while singing. He couldn't avoid a dumb smile on his face all the fucking time. And gosh, he really didn't know why he always came up with old movies when thinking about his happiness. 

"Isak?" whispered Even, close to Isak's mouth.

"Hm?" Isak's mind was dumb, way too overwhelmed by Even's warm breath on his face.

"Won't you take the scarf off?" Even asked, but he said it softly. Very softly.

"Hm..." Isak mumbled.

"I mean, you can keep it if you feel more comfortable with that. It's only that I thought that you were feeling pretty comfortable already judging by what you just did to my lips a couple of minutes ago," Even said and Isak could tell that he was smiling.

"Shut up," Isak was feeling suddenly shy again and ridiculous with this scarf.

"Hey, baby. It is ok. Ok?" said Even serious again.

"Ok," replied Isak shyly.

They stayed quiet for a couple of seconds. Just close to each other. Even then brought one hand to caress Isak's cheek and Isak leaned under the touch. This was so fucking good. How could a touch in the cheeks feel like that? Isak didn't know. But this gave him the courage to talk again.

"Even?" said Isak shyly.

"Yes, baby?" said Even still touching his cheek.

"Do you think it is ridiculous to keep it? I mean, I know it is ridiculous. But you think it is too ridiculous? It is only…”.

Even then pressed their lips together, shutting Isak up. And Isak felt calmer in the same second. He was feeling the soft pressure of Even's lips on his own. And it was incredibly good. Just the simple touch of Even's lips was enough to make his mind dizzy. _Oh boy._ Isak felt like an addict at this point. Even couldn't simply join their lips and expect no reaction from Isak. 

So Isak brought a hand himself to cup Even's face and leaned closer. Even took the hint and they started moving their lips together slowly. Even was kissing Isak slowly and with so much care. Like if he was trying to show Isak that everything was ok. So much love. His tongue just brushing Isak's own slowly. Hurtfully slow. They were kissing so fucking good. Isak's whole body was melting, and he felt his body curling up under Even's touch. And when Isak's stomach started freezing he felt Even slowly pulling back. Isak almost whined in protest. He was so gone. There was no turn back from a kiss like that.

Isak was still trying to catch his breath when he felt both Even's hands cupping his cheeks.

“Nothing that you do could ever be ridiculous, ok?" said Even.

"I love you," Isak just spilled like that. He was feeling fucking high.

"Gosh Isak," Even's breath failed. "You can't say things like that this way."

"Why not?" said Isak.

"Cause my heart has a limit, you know," said Even between breaths.

"I love you," repeated Isak more confident now.

"Fuck, Isak! Do you like making me all messed up?" yelled Even.

"Yes," said Isak, smirking.

"Jesus Christ, Isak," Even was breathing hard.

And then Isak giggled. But he was way too happy to care about that.

"Isak, you will be the death of me," Even said incredulously.

Next second Even was leaning in again to press a hard kiss to Isak's mouth. Isak gasped in surprise. And Even just kept their lips together for a couple of seconds, but it was enough to Isak start feeling dizzy again.  _ Wow. You will be the death of me too. _

"Actually you are cute with this scarf," said Even sighing.

And Isak was sure that if his cheeks weren't already rosy from the cold wind, they would be now. They had just kissed the shit out of them, but Even's words were making him feel shy again.

"But it is like I have a blind boyfriend," continued Even.

"What? And wouldn't you like me if I were blind then?" replied Isak.

"Isak, I would like you even if you had two heads," said Even.

"Oh," Isak was sure that he was turning purple now.

"It is only that my mother is blind you know," said Even low.

Isak froze immediately. His hand over Even's cheek just parallelized. And Isak just stopped breathing. 

"I'm sorry, Even. I didn't know that," Isak said.

"It is ok. She is great you know," said Even.

"Even, I would never had suggested it if I knew about that," said Isak low.

"It is all good, Isak," said Even and he was caressing Isak's cheek.

Isak just stayed silent. How could anyone be more stupid than him? He was feeling ridiculous and ashamed. He was grateful to have this scarf in his eyes right now.  _ I'm so fucking stupid. _ But the gentle touch of Even's hands on his face was making him breath again. So he stayed quiet and just breathed. Hearing Even's calm breath near him.

"What happened?" Isak asked shyly. "I mean, if you don't bother talking about that, of course," complemented Isak fast.

"Nah. It is all good. She throws jokes about that all the time," said Even. "It isn't like she was born blind. But she has a condition that made her lost her sight very young. She says that she can only remember the sight of cotton candy".

"Geez. I can't imagine how hard is that," whispered Isak.

"Yes, there are a lot of difficulties. But she is awesome. Like she has a lot of tricks. She loves to say to all my friends that when I was a baby and started crawling, she used to put a bell around my neck. So this way she could know where I was by the sound," said Even sounding playful.

"Really?" Isak was smiling again.

"Yes. She would love you, you know?" said Even.

"Why?" said Isak low.

"Cause you make me happy," said Even giving him a peck on the lips.

"Shut up," shouted Isak, but he was smiling.

"Gosh, you are so cute all shy and with your cheeks red like that," said Even.

"You with this cute shit again!" yelled Isak.

"Isak, you are the cutest person alive. You are probably the cutest person to ever walk the face of the Earth!" he said and laughed.

"Great. Now you are just mocking me," said Isak.

"What? I'm not mocking you. I'm being honest," said Even serious again.

"Right. But you are right. Your mother is probably great. If she raised you all these years and never killed you," said Isak.

"Wow. Now you're just hurting me," said Even trying to sound offended.

"Shut up," said Isak.

"You know, my mother uses to say that I'm the light in her eyes. I don't know how I feel about that," Even was laughing again.

"What? Are you kidding?" Isak was laughing too.

"She works and has a full life. But she always says that she would love to see my face only once. She says that is the only thing that she misses about seeing," said Even low.

"Ok," Isak couldn't make up anything to say. He just wished he could have kept his mouth shut. 

"She always says that she would give anything for just a sight," said Even sounding sad.

"I’m sorry," said Isak low.

"It is ok. But it is curious that she only wants to see my face and here you are, avoiding it," said Even.

Isak just stayed quiet.

"This is a funny paradox," Even continued. "She would just give everything to have a scarf on his eyes that she could remove," Even continued.

Of course Even's mother was blind. What a stupid idea. Isak was starting to feel ashamed of his lame idea. He was probably hurting Even, even if he was trying to keep things cool.  _ Fuck it. _ Isak raised his hands to take off the scarf. But he immediately felt Even's hands grabbing his own.

"What are you doing?" asked Even.

"What do you think? I'm taking off this stupid scarf!" replied Isak.

"Why?" said Even.

"I'm sorry, Even. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't know shit about that," Isak's cheeks were probably purple. He was feeling his entire body hot.

"Oh my god. You are so sweet," Even pulled Isak by his hands and kissed him.

"Baby," said Even laughing and Isak was feeling confused. "You are so fucking sweet. Oh my God. I'm sorry, Isak. I was kidding. I was just kidding, baby". 

"What??" yelled Isak.

And Isak heard Even bursting out laughing near him.

"Don't you have a blind mother?" asked Isak confused.

"No, baby," said Even between laughs. "You were so fucking cute. Geez," said Even losing his breath beside him.

And Isak stayed quiet for a while when the realization came to him. And he started feeling angry and stupid. So he pushed his hands away from Even abruptly, and this made Even stop laughing immediately.

"You can't joke with things like that!" yelled Isak.

"Why not?" said Even softly. But Isak could still hear an amusement in his voice.

"I don't know. It’s just wrong!" shouted Isak.

"I could have joked with something way worse," replied Even.

Isak was feeling fucking stupid right now. So he sat up and pulled away from Even.

"Baby, come here. I'm sorry. It was a stupid joke," said Even, but he was still laughing.  _ The fucker. _

"No! I'm fucking pissed off right now!" yelled Isak.

"I'm sorry, baby," said Even sounding honest.

"I'm feeling fucking stupid because I believed you!" said Isak.

"Oh, baby. I'm sorry. You are the smartest person that I know. You could never be stupid," said Even trying to reach Isak. 

Isak just pulled away again. And he was now feeling the grass moisture under his hands. _Great_. He heard Even moving and approaching him and he just started crawling away as fast as he could. But now he was feeling the wet grass all over his pants. _Fucking_ _Great._ And before he could stand up, Even just thrown his whole body on him, forcing both of them to lay down over the wet ground.

“Get away!” yelled Isak.

"I'm sorry, baby," said Even serious and then he leaned down to press a quick kiss to Isak's nose.

"Let me go!" yelled Isak.

"Never," replied Even.

"You made me feel stupid!" replied Isak angrily.

"I'm really sorry, Isak. I never meant to make you feel bad" Even said that and leaned down again to press a sweet peck on Isak's nose. And this wasn't helping Isak to keep his mind focused on his point. He was fucking pissed off.

"Asshole!" said Isak.

Even leaned down again pressing another peck to Isak's nose.

"I'm sorry, baby boy. Can you forgive me?" Even whispered.

“No!” shouted Isak.

“Do you think that you will ever be able to forgive me someday?” Even’s voice was amused.

“Never!” yelled Isak.

“Wow. This is a lot of time!” Even laughed.

“You even invented this shit about cotton candy!” yelled Isak.

And Isak heard Even chuckling over him.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” said Even losing his damn breath from laughing.

"Get away from me!" shouted Isak.

"Never" replied Even once again. "But, I mean. Isak, if you really want me to get away from you right now, cause you are uncomfortable or something like that. Of course I'm doing it, baby. Do you really want me to do that?" asked Even serious.

"Shut up!" shouted Isak.

"What? Do you want me to stand up?" asked Even confused.

"Shut up," said Isak once again.

"Hm...Isak, say 'shut up' if you want me to stay here over you and kiss the shit out of you until you are sweet again," Even said way too amused.

"Shut up," yelled Isak, trying to hide a smile that was insisting on appearing on his face.

And when he heard Even chuckling again above him making all his own body tremble how could he do not laugh too? _Fuck this boy._ Isak laughed grudgingly until Even's smile was on his own. He smiled until Even parted his lips and asked for more. And Isak's rage was completely forgotten by then. This exasperating boy always making him go from one extreme to another. But right now, Isak didn't think about anything else. He just parted his lips for Even. And since he was going for that. He could go all in. Isak reached Even's back of neck pulling him down. Earning another smile from Even's lips.

And Isak was kissed like if he was the most precious thing over the Earth. And this wasn't helping with all the feelings in his stomach. Isak kissed his boyfriend holding the back of his neck like if it was the only thing sustaining him from a cliff fall. And apparently they were that kind of couple. The one that does these stupidly absurd passionate gestures, like kissing over a wet grass in a fucking freezing night. And Isak would have rolled his eyes if he weren't too concentrated in kissing Even like it was the last time. Kissing him as he loved him. Kissing him like he was his everything right now. 

Isak felt Even's heart beating loudly. And he really didn't know why, but this made him just so happy. He couldn't avoid a smile forming on his lips. And the smile was getting bigger and bigger until all that Even was kissing was his smile.

"What?" whispered Even between their mouths, sounding confused. 

"Nothing," whispered Isak back.

"Why are you smiling while I'm kissing you? Is my kiss funny?" whispered Even sounding amused.

"I'm just happy, ok?" whispered Isak.

"I'm pretty happy myself too," said Even low.

"Why are we whispering?" whispered Isak.

"I don't know. Maybe because I kissed your voice out of you with my kissing skills?" whispered Even playfully.

Isak scoffed.

"What about my skills?" said Isak not whispering anymore.

"Oh, I love your kissing skills. I really love it," said Even.

"Really?" asked Isak.

"Isak. Do you think that I kiss people for like a ridiculously amount of minutes straight on my daily basis?" asked Even.

"I don't know. Maybe you were only trying to be gentle?” said Isak, but feeling all the butterflies in his stomach.

"Gentle?" Even burst out laughing.

"What?" asked Isak.

"Do you want to hear that you were my best kiss ever? Is that what is this about?" asked Even.

"Hm. Was it?" Isak asked shyly again.

"Of course it was! Are you kidding me? Weren't you there?" replied Even. "I'm surprised that we could even stop it."

Isak smiled widely until he was laughing and heard Even laughing above him.

"It was good," replied Isak.

"GOOD?! What?" yelled Even. "Now you are just trying to hurt me, right?"

"I mean. It was good. But maybe I would need more material to judge it," said Isak trying to stay serious. "I mean, I'm a man of science. I need data to analyze it".

"Ok. How do you suggest us to do that, then?" Even's voice was amused.

"Well...I need my data. Could you deny it when it’s for science purpose?" said Isak tilting his head up.

"Never. I would do the worst sacrifices in name of science, you know?" said Even.

"Good," replied Isak amused.

"How can I help your research then?" asked Even.

"You could kiss my forehead? Like, to establish a base parameter?" asked Isak.

"Of course, I care a lot about base parameters, you know?" replied Even.

Isak giggled and smiled until Even leaned down and pressed his lips to Isak's forehead. Giving a series of quick pecks all over his forehead. And gosh. Was someone supposed to feel all hot like that with kisses on the forehead? 

"Was that a good base parameter?" asked Even softly.

"The best," said Isak.

"How can I contribute more to science?" replied Even amused.

"Hm. Kiss on the cheek?" suggested Isak.

Even didn't say a word. He just raised one hand to hold one of Isak's cheeks caressing the skin there and then leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to Isak's corner of mouth on the other side.

"This was cheating..." said Isak low.

"Sue me," laughed Even. "What now? I'm really getting fond of science".

"Well, maybe you should kiss me more..." suggested Isak unsure.

"Where?" whispered Even. And Isak was losing his damn mind.

"Surprise me," said Isak.

"Oh, Isak, Isak," replied Even.

Then Even leaned down and attacked his neck. Isak had never before been kissed on the neck. And he would never in a million years have thought that it could feel like that. Even first gave just some sweet pecks to his neck. And this was giving Isak tickles. But the most delicious kind of tickles. And when Even started sucking his neck gently, Isak started feeling all kind of feelings in his body, in his stomach. Inside his pants. Oh, in his pants.  _ Fuck. _

"Babyyy," said Isak half talking, half moaning.

"What?" Even pulled apart amused.

"What?" asked Isak confused.

"You just called me Evy?" said Even laughing.

"What?! Why would I call you Evy?" said Isak offended.

"Don't know. Nickname?" said Even teasing.

"What? I called you baby. Baby! What the fuck," said Isak shaking his head.

"Ok, then. Maybe in another universe you call me Evy all the time," said Even playfully.

"Yes, and maybe in that universe I'm a fucking prince," said Isak rolling his eyes in his head.

"Maybe in that universe I'm your bodyguard," said Even.

"You?" scoffed Isak.

"What?" said Even.

"You are too good to be a bodyguard. What if you need to shoot someone? You would never do that," said Isak, and he meant it.

"Owww. Do you think that I'm too good?" said Even laughing again.

"Hm. Yes! I mean, when you aren't inventing some shits to me, then yes," said Isak.

"Isak Valtersen, I would shoot someone for you, ok?" said Even trying to sound serious, but failing it.

Isak scoffed.

"Isak, Isak," even said leaning down. "Do you want me to show you how bad I can be?" Even whispered. "I bet I could kiss your neck until you called me Evy".

"I would like to see you try that," Isak scoffed, but his insides were twisting.

"Ok, but first we should probably get out of this wet grass. Don't you think? Now that I kissed the rage out of you and you are sweet again," and Even laughed.

"I'm not sweet!" yelled Isak.

"Ok, baby. Just come here," Even laughed standing up and grabbing both Isak's hands to pull him up.

Isak got up too fast, grabbing Even's forearms quickly to keep his balance. And then being held by Even on his waist. He heard Even laughing.  _ The fucker. _ But then Even pressed a kiss to his cheek, making him melt inside.  _ A fucking kiss on the cheek. Jesus fucking Christ. _

"Isak!" screamed Even suddenly, making Isak jump.

"Geez! Don't do that," yelled Isak back.

"It's perfect!" Even was excited.

"What?" shouted Isak.

"You," replied Even laughing.

"Oh my god," said Isak rolling his eyes in his head.

"But this. Us. Like that. We are practically in the right position for a slow dance!" Even was really excited.

"What?! Say that you are kidding," said Isak shaking his head.

"Isak?" said Even serious suddenly.

"What?" asked Isak.

"Dance with me?" Even voice was amused.

"Hell no! Stop with this absurdity!" yelled Isak back.

"Really?" said Even low.

"Really," said Isak.

"Ok," whispered Even sad.

"For fucking sake!" yelled Isak.

"What?" asked Even confused.

"Let's dance your weirdo," Isak shouted.

"What? I don't want it anymore," replied Even, but Isak was noticing the amusement in his voice.

"Even, I swear to God. Put some lame song and let's dance," said Isak.

"Nah. Now you hurt my feelings," Even was saying it but laughing, what was completely absurd.

"Oh my God! Why are you like that?" Isak was exasperated.

"It's the love feeling," replied Even laughing.

"Oh my God! Shut up!" yelled Isak.

"You know, when you were hurt I kissed you until you were happy again. Just saying it..." said Even.

"You are not hurt! You are laughing, your asshole!" yelled Isak.

"People have different ways to externalize their feelings, Isak," said Even trying to muffle his laughs. 

"Ok! Ok! How can I compensate you for my horrible attitude?" said Isak throwing his hands to the sky. 

"Hm...kiss?" asked Even.

"Ok" replied Isak, then leaning in and giving a quick peck to Even's lips.

"What was that, Isak?" asked Even.

"Kiss!" shouted Isak.

"Isak, my aunt gives me longer kisses than that," said Even.

"First, ewww! Second, what do you want?" replied Isak angrily.

"ten kisses. On the mouth," replied Even.

"five," replied Isak amused now.

"What? Why are you bargaining kisses for me? Now I demand seven. It’s my final offer," said Even amused.

"Ok! Geez! You are such a demanding boyfriend!" yelled Isak.

"Isak!" shouted Even.

"What?!" asked Isak confused.

"You just called me your boyfriend," said Even softly.

"And? Isn't that what you are?" asked Isak shyly.

"You bet I am! But now I gain an extra kiss for that!" said Even.

"What? And why this makes sense again?" replied Isak.

"Shut up and kiss me," said Even laughing.

"Wow! Look at that. First date and I'm receiving this kind of treatment already!" said Isak smiling.

"What? You say this to me all the time!" laughed Even.

"But this is different," said Isak.

Isak wasn't being able to remove this fucking stupid grin on his face. Were they really hugging each other in the middle of a school yard negotiating kisses? _Geez._

"What? How is that different?" asked Even trying to sound offended. But failing, of course.

"Cause I'm cute," said Isak tilting his head up.

"Oh my God!" Even burst out laughing. "Well, but you have a good point".

"Ok. Ok. So eight kisses for my boyfriend," said Isak leaning in and giving pecks to Even's mouth.

"one...two...three…" Isak was counting every single one and he was noticing Even leaning in more and more.

"four...five...six...seven...eight..." Isak's voice was low.

_And what the hell!_

"nine...ten...eleven...twelve...thirteen," Isak noticed Even smiling under his kisses. And he started smiling himself.

"fourteen...fifteen...sixteen" Isak finished.

"What was that?" said Even amused.

"You are lucky. Because we have an exclusive promotion for absurd boyfriends tonight. You get double kisses." said Isak amused.

"I'm so happy that I'm absurd right now. And you are so fucking cute, Isak!" yelled Even, cupping Isak's face and planting a kiss on his lips.

Isak giggled.

"Can I play the song now?" asked Even.

"What? I still need to dance?!" whined Isak.

"Your enthusiasm is infectious, Isak," said Even. "But yes".

"Urgh. Ok, play this shit," said Isak.

He heard Even laughing once more and pulling apart a little to play the fucking song on his phone. And then Isak heard some slow and sweet chords starting. Even's hands were holding his waist and pulling him closer. Isak was feeling awkward with his hands on Even's forearm. But before he could give it any more thought, Even grabbed both his arms and passed them above his shoulders, making Isak hug his neck. _Damn it._ How was Even always reading his mind.

Isak just leaned in and pressed his cheek to Even's collarbone keeping it there. This was so fucking good. So comfortable. Isak didn't want never to go home. He just wanted to be able to stay like that. With his boyfriend.  _ Boyfriend. _ Isak sighed and then he felt Even pressing his lips to his forehead. Smelling it and then pressing a kiss there. And Isak's entire body melted under his touch.  _ Geez. Is he feeling this too? _

They were holding each other like they just fit together. Like they were made for each other. And then Isak felt Even slowly sliding his foot. And he just moved together. They were hugging and moving smoothly. Isak felt like if he was floating, maybe in part because his head was dizzy.

And hearing the sweet chords surrounding the night Isak remembered the time when Even texted him about slow dancing.  _ And fuck it. _ At this point, would Isak be able to deny anything to this stupid boy? So Isak ran down one of his hands through Even's neck and his chest, keeping it pressed there, just above Even’s heart. Even's heartbeat was so comforting. Isak smiled, even though Even couldn't see it. He didn't know why Even's heartbeat make him feel just so happy.

Even pressed his lips to Isak's forehead and whispered: "You remembered". And then Isak felt Even's little smile on his forehead. And his own smile got bigger.

"I remember everything," whispered Isak back. 

And this time there was no " _shut up_ ", no " _fuck you_ " or anything like that. This time it was just his heart talking. Because right now Isak was opened and vulnerable. And he couldn't care less. Not when he was feeling like that. And when Even's heartbeat started accelerating over his touch, he felt his own heart skip a beat and his legs weakening. He was grateful that Even was holding him tight.

Even grabbed Isak’s hand, holding it close to their hearts. And Isak, the old Isak, would have laughed about the absurdity of this. If someone had told the old Isak about that, he would have just rolled his eyes. But now, nothing felt more right. Everything with Even felt just perfect. Every fucking minute. And Isak had a lot of doubts, but not a single one about Even. So next when Isak tilted his head up keeping his chin raised, it wasn't like it was a studied gesture. It was more a consequence of Isak's entire body melting and dismantling under Even.

When Even joined their lips together this time. Isak wasn't feeling shy, or hot. Isak was feeling right. Isak had never felt such certainty in his entire life. And he kissed Even's lips like it was something that he did every day, in every universe. Even though he still felt everything twisting inside him. And he didn't push it, neither did Even. They were just floating, inebriated, just savoring it. Just lips, lips, lips. Kissing softly, softly, so softly. Just brushing lips and souls. Isak and Even, they were touching each other souls.

Even pulled apart and pressed their foreheads together, sighing. And Isak sighed too and started moving his head slightly accordingly to the song, brushing their noses together. He let himself just feel and follow the music. Isak was letting himself go.

"Even?" said Isak keeping their noses pressed together.

"Yes?" sighed Even.

"I'm happy," said Isak.

"I'm happy, too, Isak," said Even.

"I don't want to never stop feeling the way I'm feeling right now," Isak was confessing all his deepest feelings. And it wasn't something natural to him. But it was ok. It was Even.

"Me neither," Even whispered back.

They stayed hugging each other for ages. And they weren't moving anymore, but Isak still felt his mind dancing and floating. But then Even's heartbeat started becoming louder than the song, silencing everything else around. Isak's heart just raced in response. He felt Even's mood changing and he didn't understand why. He just hugged Even tighter instinctively, feeling him pulling him closer too. Isak buried his fingers on Even's back. And it wasn't comfortable anymore.

"Isak," Even muttered.

"Yes?" replied Isak.

"Can you promise me something?" said Even with a hoarse voice.

"Anything," said Isak, bumping their noses together playfully with a smile on his face, but Even didn't laugh. And Even always laughed.

Even stopped to clear his throat and Isak didn't know why, but something just didn't feel right. Isak froze, just waiting with his heart clenching in his chest.

"Can you remember forever that right now, right here, I loved you? I loved you infinitely," Even's voice wasn't playful, Even's voice wasn't quite right.

Even if Isak didn't know why, every beat of his heart was hurting inside him. What was that? Isak wasn't quite breathing anymore.

"Why are you saying things like that?" Isak's voice trembled.

"Isak, listen to me. That is important. Are you paying attention?" said Even with urgency in his voice.

"Yes," and Isak was scared, he didn't want to hear anything else anymore.

"It doesn't matter what goes in my mind. You are in my heart. You are carved out here. Even when I die, it will be there. I feel it. I swear. Will you remember that?" Even's voice was shaking.

And Isak didn't answer because he didn't understand shit right now. And he wasn't trusting himself to be able to talk right now. He went from happy to feeling a lump in his throat in no time. And he was hurting inside. And he didn't even know fucking why. And he felt his heart bleeding.

"Isak?" asked Even. "Isak?".

"What?!" yelled Isak, just because it was the only thing that he could let go now.

"I can't control a lot of things. But I can control my heart. Ok? Please, Isak. Please, just know that, ok?".

"Ok," Isak said shyly. "You feel what you feel," said Isak and he felt stupid immediately.

Even didn't answer, but he sighed deeply and buried his head under Isak's curls. And Isak held him until his back started hurting. But Isak didn't complain. He didn't care. It hurt when he breathed. It hurt when his heartbeat. But he didn't care. He felt like suffocating, but he fucking didn't give a shit.

"No Even in any universe loved you more than I'm loving you right now. It isn’t my head making me love you. It is my heart. Just remember that, Isak".

Isak was choking and he let go a sob. And he was feeling grateful that he had the scarf on his eyes now, because his eyes were wet and he was feeling ashamed. He sobbed again and Even pressed their lips together hard.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," said Even repeatedly, kissing Isak's lips.

"Are you dying?" Isak asked and sobbed again.

Even let go a sad laugh.

"I'm not dying, baby," Even paused. "Isak?" 

"Yes?" replied Isak.

"I'm sorry, baby. I'm ok, ok? I'm sorry if I scared you," he kept pressing their mouths together, kissing Isak.

And then a completely fucking ridiculous song started playing on Even's phone. And he felt Even's shadow of a smile on his lips. Then Even pulled back a little and he heard the song starting flooding the entire night in a fucking absurd volume. Isak frowned confused. Then Even raised their intertwined fingers from their chests to his mouth and pressed a sweet kiss to Isak's hand that reverberated directly on Isak’s heart.

_ The Book of Love - Gavin James _

[ _ https://open.spotify.com/track/4SlDGX71bTXfInhT9u68OS _ ](https://open.spotify.com/track/4SlDGX71bTXfInhT9u68OS)

“Isak, do you trust me?” asked Even.

“Yes,” and Isak didn’t even think before saying it. 

“I will make you feel happy again, ok?” said Even.

And before Isak could protest or say anything, Isak choked in surprise, because Even spun them both fast with no warning. He felt his balance going to hell, and he fell on Even that hugged him tight. 

"Even!" yelled Isak.

"Dance with me, Isak!" shouted Even back.

Isak was opening his mouth to protest when he felt himself being thrown away backward and he almost screamed. His heart fucking stopped.  _ Jesus fucking Christ _ . He felt like he was falling from a rollercoaster and an uncomfortable cold feeling in his stomach. When his mind returned to Earth again, Even pulled him close again, hugging him tight.

"Even! You almost killed me now!" yelled Isak and he was fucking angry now. 

He was angry because Even made him feel confused and sad. And now he was playing with him. He was just playing with his feelings.

"Isak, have I told you that I love when you yell at me?!!" Even yelled back, trying to raise his voice above the music.

"Decrease this fucking volume!" yelled Isak back, while Even was still moving them together.

"No!" yelled Even back, and spun them probably three full turns, making Isak's head get dizzy and hold him tighter to keep his balance.

"Even!" yelled Isak, but then Even pressed a quick kiss on his lips and brushed his noses playfully, and Isak felt lost. He felt a fog taking his mind away.

"I want you to be happy again!" yelled Even.

"I don't want to be happy! I want to be pissed off. I want to be pissed off for the rest of the year!" yelled Isak back.

Even laughed hard and Isak frowned, even though his lips trembled. But he wouldn’t smile. He wanted to be angry now. Even when Even’s laugh was sounding amazing like that. 

“Ow, this is bad. I love so much when you are happy,” yelled Even above the music.

Even was moving their shoulders together, from one side and to the other, slowly according to that song. And Even was mumbling something directly in his mouth, maybe singing the song. But Isak couldn’t hear shit because of that damn volume, only feel Even’s warm breath on his lips. And how was that fair?

“You know I can’t hear shit with this volume!” yelled Isak.

“What I’m saying now I don’t want you to hear yet anyway,” yelled Even back laughing.

“What?!” shouted Isak.

Isak opened his mouth to reply it. But then Even raised their joined hands above their heads and pushed Isak’s waist, leading him to a fast twirl. Isak felt lost until arms wrapped his chest again. 

“Oh my God. Really, Even?” yelled Isak.

“Isak, you are fucking incredible. You know that?” screamed Even at full lungs.

“Oh my God Even. Shut up!” shouted Isak back.

“I mean it. You are fucking perfect. I wouldn’t change a single thing,” yelled Even.

And Isak didn’t answer. Isak always thought a lot of things. But he certainly never thought about him as perfect at all. Anyway, his heart clenched in his chest, and his stomach twisted.

“I will dance with you until you are happy again!” Even yelled amused.

"Then we will be staying here forever. I hope you know that!” yelled Isak.

“Perfect!” screamed Even.

“And don't you dare to throw me away again. I swear to...".

But before Isak could finish the phrase Even thrown him away again. Of fucking course he did it.  _ Fucking bastard.  _ Even was laughing like he was the sun. Even thrown him backwards, but he never let go of Isak’s hands. And then pulling him back to bump directly on his chest, wrapping him tight.

"EVEN!" screamed Isak. And next second Even pressed their foreheads together, still moving them with the song.

"More you yell to me, more I love you Isak!" yelled Even and he laughed.

“In this case I will be the fucking love of your life, your asshole!” screamed Isak.

“Probably,” said Even. And Isak didn’t really know if he understood it right, but he felt the damn fucking butterflies in his stomach. He felt it all.

And then he heard Even giggling, spinning them together. Isak felt overwhelmed. And he started feeling a lung in his throat. He had never felt anything quite like that in his life before.

And a part of Isak’s brain remembered that he wanted to be pissed off. But he couldn’t now remember exactly the reason. And his heart started melting in his chest. The traitor.  _ This fucking absurd boy _ . And Isak was a mess of emotions. He wanted to slap Even's face and shove him hard. Except that he wanted to bury his face on his neck and never let him go.  _ Fucking stupid boy! _

"Even! Stop that!" shouted Isak.

"Never!" shouted Even back.

"I'm hating it!" yelled Isak.

"You are loving it!" laughed Even.

"Stop spinning me!" Isak yelled.

And of course, next thing that Even did was to spin them no stop. Pressing their mouths together hardly and spinning, spinning, spinning. Isak didn't know anymore where was the sky and where was the ground. He didn't know where Even finished and where it started being himself. His mind was spinning too. And Even spun them and never separated their mouths. Isak was feeling Even smile all the time. He didn't know if it was shaping his own lips, but at some point, Isak started smiling himself. And he didn't feel anything anymore except those two smiles.

And Even spun them. And spun. And Isak was feeling totally dizzy, but he knew that Even was holding him tight. He just trusted him. And Even spun them forever and pressed kisses across all his face. And when Even kissed his lips, Isak wasn’t smiling anymore. He was with a full grin. 

And Even was laughing all the fucking time. It was the sun in the middle of this fucking night. Even's laughs reverberating on Isak's entire body. Spinning, spinning, spinning. And Isak wasn't kissing anymore. Isak was leaning his head backward and feeling the wind on his face, passing fast, fast. And he let his arms fall relaxed beside his body. He didn't hold anymore. He knew that Even was holding him.

Isak leaned his whole body backward and laughed. Spinning, spinning, spinning. And his heart was full of happiness. He outstretched both arms along his body and felt the cold air passing fast by them.

Isak laughed like a child being thrown into the air. He laughed, and he felt free and here with Even he felt right. He was finally complete. Spinning, spinning. 

"Isak!" yelled Even.

"What?" yelled Isak.

“You are so beautiful,” said Even. “Right now you are breathtaking”.

And Isak. What could Isak do? What would you do? What would you fucking do? Isak giggled. and he laughed. Because he was so damn happy. He laughed loudly and he immediately heard Even laughing back.  _ Fucking damn sun _ .

"Say that you love me!" Even yelled. “Yell that”.

"I love you!" Isak didn't even question it. He just spun, spun and yelled.

"I love you!” Isak yelled again and Even laughs filled the air.

"I fucking love you!" Isak screamed the air out of your lungs, raising his hands above his head. And it was so liberating. He was so fucking free. And it was so damn good. He was being himself. And more than that, he was his very best version.

And Even laughed so hard and so full. Even's laugh was running from Even's arms to Isak's waist and Isak’s chest. He didn't know exactly how much was his own laughs and how much was Even's laughs shaking his chest. But he didn't give a fuck right now. He never felt anything quite like that. Ever.  _ Even _ .

"Are you happy?” yelled Even again.

"Yes!" Isak screamed back. Because why not? Why fucking not? “I have never been happier in my entire life! Are you happy now?” screamed Isak. And he laughed. 

But this time he didn’t hear Even laughing back. He frowned and then he was kissed. And oh gosh, this was a kiss. This was what people writing about love mean about a kiss.  _ Holy fucking mother.  _ And Isak was being loved through that kiss. Even was loving him and he knew it. He fucking felt it. Cold. Hot. He didn’t know if they were spinning yet. Really. His mind wasn’t capable of telling that anymore. 

How could his mind concentrate on such mundane things when Even was making love with his mouth?  _ Fuck my life. Fuck it all. What is my name? Where do I live? _

Isak was kissing him back with the same passion. He was pouring his soul on that kiss. But it was ok. It was fucking great, actually. Cause he was feeling Even’s soul too. Even was ruining him entirely and completely for everyone else. But it was ok. It was awesome, actually. Because Isak never again wanted to feel other lips than these incredible and absurd giant lips. Absurd like Even. 

_ Even, I love you. _

And Isak knew that Even was saying it back, even if he wasn’t saying anything. Even was kissing him so fucking good. Even was kissing him absurdly good. Isak tilted his head up for Even more and more. And he melted until he was basically spread all over Even's chest, weak, just being sustained by Even's hands on his waist. He didn't trust his legs right now. They were fucking useless right now.

And Isak's mind didn't really consciously register when they started moving their feet. He didn't even completely notice when they fell again over the blankets. Neither when Even thrown the other blanket over them. He just felt Even's mouth all the fucking time. Kissing everything out of him. 

What the fuck was that with them and unstoppable kisses. They were ridiculous and absurd. But if Even stopped it now, Isak was sure that it would hurt him physically. That was how invested Isak was in that kiss. 

And when Even reached out to tuck Isak's hair behind his ear while kissing him like that. Isak almost cried overwhelmed. And he let go a hurtfully whine slash moan. Isak had never ever been cared like that. And it hurt in his heart. It hurt good.

Even was kissing him hungrily. And Isak was losing his mind. Even was just driving him crazy. He pulled Even's hair, holding for his sanity. And maybe it was a bit harder, but Even let go a muffled groan. And Isak felt everything inside his stomach. And he felt some hurtful and delicious things inside his pants.  _ Jesus fucking Christ.  _ What were they doing? Isak wasn't really sure. But whatever it was. It felt so right.

And without any warning, Isak wrapped Even's lower lip with his mouth, sucking it hard. So fucking full. And Isak noticed how Even gasped in surprise, but how he just melted immediately under Isak's attack. And Isak pulled him closer with one hand in his lower back while sucking his lower lip.  _ Jesus fucking Christ _ . And when he thought that it was being too much for their first date, he heard a full moan coming from Even's mouth. And this was it. He was gone. Isak thought that this was the sexiest sound that he had ever heard. 

Isak didn’t quite think, he just climbed onto Even's lap under the blankets. And he noticed him choking in surprise. But he didn't push him away. So this gave Isak courage to lean down and kept attacking Even's full lips. And he was losing his damn mind in the process. He attacked Even's lips until he needed more. So he parted Even's mouth with his lips and just went for it. He dove into his mouth and kissed for his life.

He was feeling Even whole body under him. And he knew that Even could feel how hard he was becoming. Because Isak could feel him under him. And Jesus fucking Christ. Isak had never been like this with a boy before. And this feeling was giving him shivers. And if someone had told him before, when he was freaking out before meeting Even that a couple of hours later he would be over Even's body, feeling both their hard-ons and earning moans from Even. Geez. Isak would have called this person a lunatic. 

Isak didn't know what to think. What to do. He only knew that he needed Even more than he would ever admit. They had known each other for like one minute. But Isak didn't care. He kept kissing Even until he was feeling everything hurting. Until he started just moaning. Then Even separated their mouths and Isak whined. He literally, fucking whined.  _ Geez. _

"Isak. Baby. Calm down," said Even breathless, cupping Isak's face.

Isak didn't answered. He just whined in response. He was fucking hurting inside.

"You are killing me, Isak," said Even.

"Even..." Isak whined.

"What, baby boy?" replied Even.

"It is hurting," said Isak.

"Baby…" Even wasn't quite breathing.

"Make it stop," cried Isak. "Please".

"Isak," said Even. "Don't do that. I will fucking die. I swear to God. You will make me burst into flames any minute," Even's voice was desperate.

"Please," whined Isak. And he didn't care that he was that desperate. He just wanted Even.

"Baby. We just met. And you are a fucking baby!" said Even exasperated. 

"Even..." cried Isak.

"Isak," cried Even back.

"Please," said Isak.

"Gosh, Isak," Even's voice was wrecked. "Do you want me to make it stop?" 

"Please, Even," said Isak pulling his hair hard and kissing his jaw.

"Fuck, Isak!" yelled Even. "How can you be the sweetest and purest boy alive and this fucking hot? I swear to God Isak. I won't survive this night".

Next second Even was kissing him again. And Isak parted his mouth and just welcomed Even's tongue inside his mouth. He was so fucking hard. And his mind wasn't forming coherent thoughts anymore. He didn't know what he wanted. He only wanted. With all the fibers in his being. That was all new to him. He had never been like that with anyone else. And he didn't think, even for a second anything different of  _ this is so right. _

"Isak," Even said between their mouths.

And Isak just moaned in response.

"Do you want me to make you feel good?" asked Even.

"Please, Even," whined Isak and he tilted his head down, looking for Even's mouth again.

"God, Isak!" Even's voice was failing. "Baby, listen to me. Can you promise to tell me if you don't want it anymore or if you want me to stop? Will you do that, Isak?" Even's voice was serious.

Isak just whined.

"Isak! Baby, answer me," asked Even.

"Yes," replied Isak.

"Fuck, Isak," cried Even. "You are so hard, baby."

"Even," Isak was just a ball of whining at this point.

"And you made me so hard. You will kill me, Isak. I swear," Even said that and then he grabbed Isak's hand and put it over his own hard-on. 

Isak registered how Even trembled under his touch and how his breath failed. And Isak felt his own hard-on hurting in protest. He was painfully moaning at this point. But he was also amazed. He was just feeling someone else hard on. He was feeling Even’s hard on. 

"Isak...is it ok if I slide my hand inside your pants?" asked Even with urgency.

"Yes," Isak answered low and breathless. He wanted it so fucking much.

"Just tell me if it's too much, ok?" said Even again.

Even then kissed him while running his hand down over Isak's stomach. Freezing everything on his way. And then inside his pants. Isak stopped breathing. And he wasn't even missing it. Then, when Even wrapped him in his hands Isak just moaned so loudly between their mouths that he would probably be ashamed if he wasn't too gone by now. That was completely new for Isak. And he never ever ever ever imagined that it could feel that good. 

Even started moving his hand slowly. Slowly stroking Isak. And Isak was just a mess under his touch. He was moaning shamelessly loud. And he didn't even care.  _ Good lord save me. _

"Isak..." Even just breathed on his mouth.

And Isak just saw stars. Even if he was with that fucking scarf in his eyes. But he wouldn't change a damn thing about this night. It was just perfect. He felt everything inside his body and under Even's touch.

"Isak, is it ok, baby?" asked Even. 

And Isak didn't know why. But this made him feel so overwhelmed. Even was so careful and just treating him like a precious jewel. Even if he was so hard under him. This made him feel like crying. Even if he was being wrecked and stroked so damn good. Even was so wonderful. Even was always just giving him things. Making him feel good again. Making him breathe. Always there for him. And Isak wanted so badly to make Even feel the same love and care. Even was simply too good for this world.

And even though Isak was feeling damn lost, he let go a laugh. And this was absurd. 

"What?" asked Even confused and he stopped stroking him in surprise.

Isak breathed deeply, reuniting all his last forces and cupping Even's face.

"Even. You are amazing. You are like a fucking Disney prince charming. But I swear to God I will lose my shit if you ask me one more time if I'm good, ok? I'm not good. That is the fucking best thing that I have ever felt in my life. And don't you dare to stop it. Cause I'm gonna die if you do that, ok? And now shut up and let me take care of you too, ok?" said Isak.

"Isak!" and Even burst out laughing.

And Even laughed until Isak started running his hands down. Then he just started breathing hard. And this was making Isak feel so damn good about himself. So powerful. He just slowed his hands. He couldn't help himself. And he smirked. He wasn't proud of it. Only that he was.

"Fuck, Isak!" yelled Even. "Are you trying to kill me?"

And Isak laughed again. Even if every laugh just made him hurt more under Even's hand.

"You are such a teaser, Isak," Even said breathing hard.

"Yes," replied Isak and laughed again.

But then Even just moved his hands stroking him again. And Isak gasped in surprise.

"C'amon baby, keep teasing me now," said Even hoarsely.

"Fuck," said Isak low.

"I will stroke the teaser out of you, Isak!" Even laughed.

Isak just leaned in and pressed his mouth to Even's jaw. Incapable of sustaining his own body right now.

"Fuck, Even," Isak moaned.

But he was a man on a mission. So Isak concentrated and ran his hands under Even's pants. He felt Even shaking and stopping stroking him. But he didn't care that much right now. Cause he was feeling Even's hard on his fingers. And he was taken aback. He had never been like that before. But he wasn't shy. So he wrapped his hands around Even and felt the skin there.  _ Fuck. This is good. _ He squeezed it and then moved his hands up and down slowly. And he notice Even breathing hard. 

"Isak," moaned Even. "Fuck, Isak".

And Isak started feeling amazing. He started feeling fucking incredible. He was with a smile on his face. And then he started stroking Even hard and fast. And Even started moaning loudly under him. And Isak felt so damn good about himself. 

"Fuck, Isak. Fuck, Isak," were the only things leaving Even's mouth.

"Even, I will make you come," said Isak.

"Oh my God, Isak! You can't say things like that this way. Jesus, Isak!" said Even pulling Isak down by his neck and kissing him hard.

Isak was smiling over the kiss. He smiled until Even's hand started moving again.  _ Fuck. _ And he felt Even's smile on his mouth.  _ Fucker. _

All the amusement feelings just evaporated.  _ Is this really happening? _

Isak leaned down and pressed their mouths together. But they weren't kissing. They hadn't the strength to that anymore. They were just two wrecked breathing mess over each other hands. Pressing their mouths together harshly, just for the sake of having anything else to hold on while feeling everything inside.

Isak was feeling his heart beating frenetically. And he was also feeling Even's heart pulsating in his chest. But also over his hands. He was feeling his mind getting high and high. And he opened his mouth over Even's one and let go a hurtful moan. Even grabbed Isak's lower lip with his mouth and sucked it. But he wasn't coordinated. He was simply relieving his painful situation there. 

Isak accelerate the pace and Even followed him. Isak was hurting. But hurting so fucking good. And Isak wasn't even shy. He was feeling amazing. He was feeling powerful. And when next he just moved his hips down, pressing it against Even. He just felt good about himself. And then when Even let go his lip and just moaned inside his mouth. Well, Isak felt just fucking amazing. 

Beat. Beat. Beat. Isak was losing it, and he knew that Even was following him. He didn't think. He didn't breathe. He just felt everything exploding inside him. He didn't even notice when they opened their pressed mouths and starting moaning loudly. Everything just exploded. He felt his whole body trembling, and he felt waves of pleasure shaking it all.  _ Fuck _ . Black hole sun. 

Blank. Isak dropped his whole body over Even. His mind was gone. His mind was blank. He just stayed there, breathing and feeling Even's chest rising and falling. Rising and falling. Rising and falling. And this was so fucking comforting. This was home.

And when Isak thought  _ Ok, this is it. Nothing more can get me on this fucking night. _ Well, then Even joined their mouths together again. And Isak was still feeling weak. But he obliged and just kissed Even in return with equal fervor. And it wasn't a horny kind of kiss. Or an amused kiss. It was just such an intimate kiss. It was breathless, uncoordinated and harsh. But it was so fucking intimate. They were just kissing with their souls raw and opened to each other. And of fucking course. Of course they were the kind of couple that kiss passionately after sex, or whatever they had just done. And Isak would be rolling his eyes, except that he didn't give a shit right now.

And the rest of the night, they cuddled each other. They hugged, and they caressed each other faces. Even traced Isak's eyebrows and Isak kissed Even's jaw again. They breathed each other. They kissed. They kissed sweetly and slowly. They had absurd long kisses again. They kissed while having their fingers intertwined. They laughed. And they were just connecting their souls together. Like if they were always supposed to be like that. In every universe. 

And be with Even was so easy and effortless. Isak just felt like starting breathing. It was like falling asleep. Easy and good. Just natural. He felt like Even's arms were where he was supposed to be. That is why it hurt when Even called him later.

"Isak?" said Even softly.

"Hm?" Isak was dozing off. He was so fucking comfortable on Even's hug.

"Baby?" Even said pressing a kiss to his forehead. "It is morning. People will start arriving at school".

"No," replied Isak.

"No?" laughed Even.

"Just five more minutes," whispered Isak.

"Ok," said Even and hugged him tighter.

Five minutes passed. And then Ten. The minutes passed by until there was no more way to postpone it.

Even and Isak stood up to say goodbye. But how is one supposed to leave after a night like that? They hugged tightly each other. And they kissed again and again. Even put his beanie on Isak's head, because it was freezing and because Isak was his baby. And Isak let him. Because Isak had a lump in his throat. And Even kissed again and again. And Isak kissed back every single time. 

"Isak, will we meet again soon?" asked Even, and his voice was weak.

"Yes," said Isak simply.

"Promise?" sighed Even.

"Promise," replied Isak.

"Ok," said Even.

"Ok," replied Isak.

"Bye, baby boy," said Even, then he pressed a kiss again to Isak's lips and let go of Isak's hands.

And Isak felt raw and empty suddenly. He felt like he was missing a part of himself. And yes, a totally clingy thing to think. But fuck it. And he just heard Even's steps backward. Slowly becoming distant.

_ Fuck it.  _

"Even?!" yelled Isak.

"Isak?!" yelled Even immediately.

"Kiss?" yelled Isak back.

Next minute they were bumping into each other chests. Laughing and kissing passionately. Uncoordinatedly and messy, but always good. Always so damn good. Then Even started walking backward with Isak pressed to his lips. And he was laughing. And Isak was laughing. Because they were fucking ridiculous.

"Isak! You are ridiculous!" said Even between their mouths.

"You are ridiculous!" said Isak.

"Isak, you are like the master of being ridiculous," laughed Even between their mouths.

"Even, just get out. Like now. Just go," said Isak, still kissing him.

"Ok. Soon," said Even smiling on his mouth.

"Even, last kiss and then you go. And you won't look back. Deal?" said Isak in his mouth.

"Five," replied Even.

"Five what?" replied Isak.

"Five kisses and then I go," said Even.

"Oh my God. Ok," said Isak laughing.

"one...two...three..." Isak started pecking him on the lips and counting.

"four...five..." counted Isak. 

And of course.

"six...seven...eight...nine...ten," and Isak laughed because Even was laughing.

"Now fucking go. Now!" yelled Isak letting go of Even's hands. It kind of hurt. 

"Such a bossy boyfriend," said Even laughing.

But Even obliged. He stepped back and Isak was hearing him starting running away. And this was a difficult sound to hear. This was hard. 

"Hey, Isak?" Even yelled from the other side of the school yard.

"What?!" yelled Isak back.

"I fucking love you!" Even screamed at full lungs.

"I fucking love you!" Isak yelled back.

And then he heard Even running away laughing like the sun. And he felt warm inside. 

Isak tilted his head up and breathed deeply. He raised his hands and removed the fucking scarf. And then he kissed this scarf. Just because, why not. He was crazy, and his mind was dumb. And his mind was damn fucking happy. And he looked to the trees and raised his eyes to the sky. And he felt like seeing for the first time in his life. 

He was simply happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we return to texting <3  
> And they have a lot of things to discuss and sort out yet. But they are so fucking in love. And this is all that matters <3  
> This chapter was inspired a lot by The Book of Love song. I don't know what happened. <3


	9. Henrik og Tarjei

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all these chapters with lots and lots of texts and descriptions.  
> I need to learn how to control myself =p  
> Here we return to texting. I hope you like it :)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support baby girls and baby boys :)


	10. Great and Unique

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all :)
> 
> Thanks for the support and the kind words

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all in the end chapter notes as well great and unique readers :)


	11. Inglourious Basterds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3
> 
> I hope you liked it :)  
> What about you cute little pies, what are your crushes?


	12. Colpo di Fulmine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments.  
> <3  
> <3
> 
> I hope you enjoy it :)

"Ok, so what's the plan again?" asked Mahdi raising an eyebrow.

"Well. There is no specific plan" said Isak shyly. "I just want to show Even that I don't give a shit about him being bipolar. So I just thought that we could stay here at the school entrance. Play some shitty songs, you know. Be kind of absurd and ridiculous. That kind of stuff that he is into".

Isak wasn't pretty sure about what he was doing. He just wanted to get it into Even’s head that he was so happy to be his boyfriend that his heart could explode. Even who thought that he accepted it too easily. What a joke. But Even didn’t see Isak’s heart breaking every now and then reading shit on the internet. Even didn’t see him crying until sleep. But Isak never considered even for a second don’t be his boyfriend anymore. Even if this was gonna be hard sometimes. Even if this was gonna be fucking impossible sometimes. Because really impossible was the idea of being without him.

"And then he will show up, right, bro?" said Jonas smiling at him derailing his train of thought.

"I guess," said Isak looking down.

He was trying don't think about their meeting. But every time that his mind went there, he felt butterflies in his stomach. _Any time now._

"Ok, Isak...it's time. People will start leaving school," said Jonas putting an arm on Isak's shoulders. "Let's start it?".

"It's gonna be an honor serve with you," said Magnus giving him a salute.

"Hey, no need to be tooooo absurd, ok?" complemented Isak, raising an eyebrow.

"What?! Isak, bro. I always knew that one day, one day, bro. All my talents would be used for something meaningful. And this day, Isak. This day is today," replied Magnus shaking his head with duck lips.

"Ok...just...ok," said Isak sighing and giving up.

And then Isak just watched Magnus opening his mouth theatrically and making up a surprised face, slowly reaching his phone to play start.

_Oh boy, what I'm just signing up for._

_Lovefool - The Cardigans_

[ _https://open.spotify.com/track/6vvYOBxKmCvUSEQgxdZiAq_ ](https://open.spotify.com/track/6vvYOBxKmCvUSEQgxdZiAq)

The song started loudly around them and Isak saw Magnus singing, shaking his shoulders dramatically. Isak exchanged glances with Jonas shaking his head.

"Isak?" yelled Magnus looking at him.

"What?" said Isak raising an eyebrow.

" _Mama tells me I shouldn't bother_ ," sang Magnus looking directly at Isak. _"That I ought to stick to another man. A man that surely deserves me,"_ Magnus pointed to him. " _But I think you do!"_

"Oh boy," replied Isak, dropping his mouth.

" _Love me! Love me!_ " Magnus yelled at full lungs kneeling to his knees and extending both arms towards Isak. " _Fool me! Fool me! Go on and fool me!_ "

"Mags, the idea is to attract Even, not make him think that you and Isak are a thing," yelled Jonas laughing.

" _Just say that you need me!_ " Magnus just ignored Jonas.

"Jesus Christ, Mags!" yelled Isak frowning.

"C'amon, Isak! Don't you want to be ridiculous for this boy? You call this being ridiculous? I'm more ridiculous in one finger than you are in your entire body! Isak, c'mon. It is raising to the chorus again".

Isak ran a hand through his face and took a deep breath. Well, he was doing this for Even. It wasn't like he had an actual choice. _So fuck it._ _Let's be ridiculous. Let the show begin._ And he couldn't avoid roll his eyes. Because he was just Isak after all.

"C'mon, guys,” said Magnus. “Wait...wait...wait...now!".

" _Love me, love me!_ " four of them started yelling, staring at each other and smiling at the absurdity.

" _Fool me! Fool me! Go on and fool me! Love me! Love me! Pretend that you love me! Leave me! Leave me! Just say that you need me!_ ".

_Fuck Even, I must really love you._

People started leaving the school giving them weird glances and frowning. Some people were just laughing. Others were giving them some whistles and clapping. To what Magnus replied taking a bow every time. A couple of people just stopped to watch them with amusement. And Isak was scanning every face there. Just looking for a pair of shiny blue eyes.

" _Who let the dogs out_?!" yelled Magnus at Isak's ear, making him jump.

"Fuck, Mags. Don't do that!" yelled Isak back, earning a laugh from Magnus.

_Who Let The Dogs Out - Baha Men_

[ _https://open.spotify.com/track/1H5tvpoApNDxvxDexoaAUo_ ](https://open.spotify.com/track/1H5tvpoApNDxvxDexoaAUo)

Isak watched incredulously Magnus clapping his hands above his head and talking to the little crowd surrounding them now.

" _Who let the dogs out?!"_ yelled Magnus.

" _Who! Who! Who! Who! Who!_ " replied the crowd.

" _Who will help our bro out_?!" yelled Magnus again.

" _Who! Who! Who! Who! Who!_ " answered the crowd.

Isak brought a hand to his face and shook his head again. _Fuck, Even, your bastard. The things will make me do!_

"Now, guys, I will ask you, and you answer with _"Evy"_ instead of " _Who_ ", ok?" asked Magnus seriously to people around them.

"What the fuck are you doing Magnus!?" replied Isak, being completely ignored. And then that damn song raised to the chorus again.

" _Who Isak loves out?_ " yelled Magnus with a hand on his ears.

" _Evy! Evy! Evy! Evy! Evy!_ " yelled the crowd.

_Oh my fucking God. I will fucking kill Magnus!_

" _Who made Isak head over heels out?_ " yelled Magnus again.

 _"Evy! Evy! Evy! Evy! Evy!_ " yelled people again laughing. Magnus was putting quite a show.

 _Jesus fucking Christ, those people don't even know what they are doing._ Isak brought both hands to his face, and he was probably red now.

" _Who has the golden cock out?_ " yelled Magnus.

 _"Evy! Evy! Evy! Evy! Evy!_ " replied people way too enthusiastically.

"For fucking sake, Magnus!" Isak reached Magnus phone to change the song, advancing his playlist not even looking at it.

_Like a Virgin - Madonna_

[ _https://open.spotify.com/track/1iaIEmZHrjGzWUmJ9BaFr6_ ](https://open.spotify.com/track/1iaIEmZHrjGzWUmJ9BaFr6)

Isak stared silently at Magnus's eyes starting shining.

"Oh my God, seriously, Mags?" said Mahdi. "It seems that it was a mistake let you choose the songs."

"Rá! This one is gold. C'mon, guys," replied Mags. "Hey, do you like it?" he turned around and asked the crowd, that answered cheering enthusiastically. _Of fucking course._

"Hey, how Even makes Isak feel?!" Mags yelled to people.

" _Shiny and new!"_ people sang in unison laughing. " _Like a virgin! Touched for the very first time_."

Isak just wanted the Earth to drag him.

" _Like a virgin, Hu!_ " yelled Magnus way too happy.

"Magnus! Change it now!" yelled Isak, receiving boos from people around him.

"Fuck you!" Isak yelled back. But then receiving laughs and claps. _Jesus fucking Christ. What a circus._

_Love is All Around - Wet Wet Wet_

[ _https://open.spotify.com/track/1zdGSzFBBjrFBKftLesPeH_ ](https://open.spotify.com/track/1zdGSzFBBjrFBKftLesPeH)

And Isak took a deep breath and looked around, seeing a lot of people surrounding them now. And Isak couldn't stop thinking that maybe one of them could be Even. Would he feel it in his heart? Maybe see him in a slow-motion scene in his mind? Or would he completely miss his presence?

He scanned every single person. _I will see him, any time now._ And this fucking cheesy song started running on his mind making him melt because now he was thinking about Even again and Even had this property. Like fire makes water to boil and cold temperatures cause water to freeze. Even just makes Isak melt away.

Isak sighed again. _And what the hell._

" _It's written on the wind_ ," Isak sang and saw Magnus smiling at him.

" _It's everywhere I go_ ," they were joined by all this stupid crowd.

" _So if you really love me_ ," Jonas passed an arm on Isak's shoulders.

" _Come on and let it show_ ," everyone was singing together. And it would be beautiful if it wasn't just stupid, Isak thought.

" _You know I love you, I always will_ ," and Isak sang it. Because he felt it. So what the fucking hell.

 _Fuck._ And Isak was almost forgetting that he planned something more.

"Hey, Mahdi. Do you have it?" asked Isak.

"Yes, bro," said Mahdi leaning down to get some bottle and passing it to Isak.

"Ok, so...I know how this sounds stupid. But I thought about doing some kind of symbolic gesture today," said Isak to the boys near him.

Isak reached his backpack, opening it and grabbing something there.

"This scarf...I want to burn it,” said Isak feeling a little stupid saying that out loud. _Geez. I’m the fucking master of dumb ideas._ But a lot of people just cheered him back. Even though no one had any fucking clue about anything.

Even though the idea seemed to make much more sense in his mind. The thing was that Isak wanted to kind of free himself of every mask. This fucking scarf had served its purpose. But now it was time to go. Isak was ready now.

"Do you want to see it burn?" Magnus yelled to the crowd, making a lot of people to scream and laugh. Because of course any extra gesture kept him going.

Isak dropped the scarf on the floor, then spilled some gasoline, or whatever was this that Mahdi brought all over the scarf. Then he stepped back and prepared to throw a phosphor there.

"Wait!" yelled Magnus.

"What now?" yelled Isak back.

"I have the perfect song for that!" shouted Magnus.

"Oh boy," whined Isak.

"It's all about birth or rebirth, right?" said Magnus, reaching his phone.

_Circle of Life - The Lion King Soundtrack_

[ _https://open.spotify.com/track/5rLsYHAgCqKNeaj1miXVnd_ ](https://open.spotify.com/track/5rLsYHAgCqKNeaj1miXVnd)

"Really?" Isak rolled his eyes.

But at this point, could he think that anything was too much? And he kind of loved Lion King when child anyway. He could feel relatable to that little Simba, feeling lost and alone. So yes, Magnus couldn't imagine how appropriate was this song choice actually.

Isak sighed and looked at the scarf. And he should just have thrown the fucking phosphor and started burning it. But why suddenly he felt this lump in his throat. It was like a life of being what people expected him to be. Or whatever he thought people expected him to be. Not anymore. _Today I'm the king of this shit_! And Isak smiled because this was such a fucking lame thought. He threw the phosphor and watched the flames rising.

Isak's mind was hypnotized by the flames. And this was kind of liberating. All the thoughts were just fading away. He stared at the fire until something pulled his gaze away. He turned his head slowly to one side, forcing himself to look away from the flames, barely noticing the movement consciously at all. Attracted like by gravity.

He raised his eyes from the floor to the side of the school building. And he saw a figure standing there on the window. He couldn't really see him from the distance. But why his heart just raced on his chest?

"Is it him?" asked Jonas following Isak's gaze.

"Yes," shouted Isak.

And this surprised both of them. Because Isak didn't know shit about it. And this guy could be any random guy. Yes, he seemed to be quite tall. And blonde. But Isak's heart was beating fast, like if it had the answer already. Maybe he was trying to escape Isak's chest and reach that window faster.

"Go," said Jonas over his shoulders, and then turned around to Magnus. "Mags, the song."

_I'm Kissing You - Des'ree_

[ _https://open.spotify.com/track/1Xp8MKmfoFDib6dHM6JF53_ ](https://open.spotify.com/track/1Xp8MKmfoFDib6dHM6JF53)

Isak didn't think, he just ran. Bumping on people on his way and don’t even paying attention. He felt like his heart had just escaped his chest and was pulling him by his hand. He fucking followed it.

He reached that window in record time, raising his eyes slowly like if he was scared. What if he didn't feel anything after all. Isak sighed, frightened, raising his eyes with his heart on his hands. And Isak looked through that glass. And then his mouth just fell. His heart as well. A lightning crossing his entire body, exploding in his head. _Colpo di fulmine[1]._

The boy was looking back at him like if the whole world could crumble around them, and he wouldn't even blink. Isak approached the glass shyly, tilting his head to one side and looking directly into that eyes. And Isak's mind got vanished in that light blue blue eyes, staring at every little detail there. Every bright ray that made them seem just look like waves, just like a pool. Like a whole fucking ocean there. And Isak couldn't hold his breath anymore. Because Isak had been lost there before. Isak knew these eyes from the heart. _It's him._ _Even._

And Isak was seeing Even in broad daylight. But his eyes weren't the only thing making him see. Love was burning in his veins and dancing in his iris. Isak just wanted to reach him and touch his face. Trace his nose with his fingers. And then...his lips. Isak's legs weakened. Because Isak remembered how it tasted to have these lips on his own. Full. Parted. Swollen. Breathless. _Kill me._ Love was coloring his sight, and he had never seen brighter. _He looks like a fucking angel._

Isak saw Even looking away, touching the window frame, pulling and pushing the window. And then looking back at him shaking his head and sighing frustratedly. They were so fucking close. But they couldn't touch, and it hurt. They should probably let go and reach a damn door, but Isak couldn't make himself to look away.

And then when Even approached his lips from the window, Isak just stopped breathing. _Is he going to kiss it?_ But Even just breathed over it. And Isak followed him drawing over the glass. A curve. A heart. And then a letter ‘i’ inside it.

Isak had never felt anything like that before. _Fuck._ He felt his stupid eyes getting wet and he looked down, breathing a couple of times deeply. Breathing, breathing and then risking a lookup again under his eyelashes.

Even’s mouth fell wider, and he leaned in, bumping his nose loudly on the glass and then frowning and smiling to Isak. Isak raised his eyes looking at him with a stupid smirk on his face _. My idiot._ And then when Even laughed, Isak was simply seeing the fucking sun. Fuck my life. _For I never saw true beauty till this day._

Isak followed curiously Even’s hand running over the glass once again, seeing him writing three letters there. I. L. U. _I love you._ Isak melted all over that glass and smiled back to Even like a complete idiot. Like the fucking idiot in love that he was.

He saw Even pressing his nose against the glass, and Isak followed him. He was so in love with Even. He felt it in his bones. He mouthed ‘I love you’ to him. And Even stopped smiling and fucking kissed that glass, right above Isak’s mouth. Isak followed him without even thinking. Because fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck my life. Fuck the whole universe. Fuck all the fucking parallel universes and everything else. Isak would kiss that fucking glass in any universe. No matter how ridiculous it was.

When Even then stepped back, pointing to the back of the school, Isak walked in the same direction before even thinking, attracted like a magnet. And then he lost sight of him. And his heart clenched. Isak walked faster and faster until he was running. And he was running as faster as he could when he heard Even yelling his name from an opened window.

Isak stopped running so quickly that his mind probably kept going forward. He turned around, running back and jumping on the bench under the window in a single movement. Diving on Even’s chest that almost lost his balance and wrapped his arms around Isak's back. Isak pressed their lips together straightforward.

Isak kissed him urgently, messed, running his hands all over his face. He wanted to feel every single part of him. He kissed Even leaned against this window frame, and his stomach started hurting being hardly pressed like that. And Isak kissed him even more after that, ignoring the pain. Then Isak opened his eyes and stared at Even's eyes heavily closed. _So fucking perfect_.

They separated their mouths for a second to breathe, joining them again in the next second. This time just touching. Just sweet. And Isak didn’t close his eyes back even for a second. And when Even opened his eyes, staring at Isak's soul with their lips still pressed together. Isak felt his legs weakening because this was so fucking intense, trapped in that blue. Isak parted his lips, asking for more, still staring at him. But Even laughed in his mouth and Isak felt his whole body powerless.

“What are you doing?” Even whispered in his mouth.

“I want to see you,” Isak replied sounding like a child having his candy stole.

“Isak, this is creepy,” said Even softly.

“Fuck you,” said Isak low, but leaning in closer.

Even laughed in his mouth again and Isak wanted to feel him so badly, all of him. But he couldn't make himself to fucking let him go. So he reunited all his last forces and shoved him so hard that Even almost fell and looked at him with shocked eyes.

“What!?” replied Even confused.

“Door!” shouted Isak.

And Isak ran towards that door, hearing Even's laughs echoing through the school corridors. He fucking laughed back. Running and laughing like an idiot. _Gosh_. They were so fucking idiots.

And when Isak saw the school backdoor a few steps ahead, he heard Even yelling his name again from another opened window. Isak looked back with a frown.

“Even. Door. There!” yelled Isak.

“Isak, I can't wait!” yelled Even back. “Kiss me.”

“Oh my fucking God. You are so full of bullshit!” yelled Isak.

But before he completed the phrase he was already running towards that window, diving on Even’s full lips again and holding his neck for his life.

“Jesus Christ. We are such idiots,” said Isak between their lips. "You are so fucking stupid."

“You are an idiot, Isak,” said Even kissing him back.

“Fuck you,” replied Isak breathless. “You are so absurd, Even. So so idiot.”

Even laughed and pulled apart bringing both hands to cup Isak’s face, staring directly into his soul.

“Isak, you have the most incredible eyes that I have ever seen,” he said intensely. “And I couldn't wait to tell you that."

“Shut up," said Isak shyly. "Green. What a surprise.”

“They aren't green,” replied Even.

“What?” said Isak frowning. “They were last time I checked.”

“Isak, I’m the artist here. I know green. Lemons are green, leaves are green. That isn’t green. That isn’t like any color that I have ever seen before. That is Isak’s eyes color,” said Even with a fond expression. “You are like a painting, baby. So, so beautiful”.

Isak stared back astonished. He wasn’t used to compliments. They just made him blush. He looked back directly into that eyes, speechless, feeling raw. The sun blazing against Even's blue eyes making them just incredibly light. Just ethereal. Magical. Isak was seeing true beauty _._

“You look like an angel, Even,” Isak shouted looking at him with big and sincere eyes.

Isak was blushing until die. But he took courage to raise one hand and tuck Even's hair against his ear. Then when Isak saw Even pouting shyly, he felt his heart expanding into his chest. _My baby._ He sighed and stepped back, mouthing “Go.”

Isak ran like a stupidly in love boy. He ran and he felt right now like he could even fly, so fucking light he was. He ran smiling and then bumping on his boyfriend's chest. Hugging and being hugged. Hands running all over each other backs. Feeling, groping, smelling. And then laughing like two ridiculous boys. Ridiculously in love. Trapped in their own love bubble.

Even pulled apart first, rubbing their noses together. And Isak just followed him. He was at school, fucking hugging his boyfriend in fucking daylight. And nothing felt more right. Because it was Even. And Even was nothing but right.

"Halla," whispered Even so softly that Isak felt like weakening on his embrace.

"Halla,” replied Isak low.

"How are you today, baby?" said Even playfully. Like if they were used to greet each other every day.

"Sensational," said Isak with a smirk.

"Wow, sensational?" laughed Even, making Isak grin like an idiot.

"How are you?" asked Isak back.

"I think I may be in love," said Even.

"Idiot," laughed Isak, because he couldn't handle this boy.

“Isak, what was that thing with all those songs and your friends?” said Even.

“It was for you,” said Isak. “To make you understand that I love you. No matter what”.

Isak tried to sound confident, but probably only sounding like a child telling the parents about a high grade.

“You’re just unbelievable,” sighed Even.

“Unbelievably good?” asked Isak.

“Always good, baby,” said Even.

Even brought a hand to caress Isak's cheek. And Isak leaned into his touch so fucking shamelessly that he would be ashamed if he weren't so in love. Instead, Isak grabbed Even's wrist and held it like if he was afraid that he could disappear at any moment. He looked at his boyfriend's face like if he wasn’t real.

And then Isak lowered his eyes and looked at Even's lips. And he wasn't strong enough to refrain the urge of touch them. Isak traced the curves of Even's bottom lip, and he felt a warm feeling running inside his veins. _C'amon, universe. Really?_

"Fuck Even, did you just passed twice on the lips line when they were distributing it?" said Isak still looking at his boyfriend's absurd full lips.

"What?" said Even laughing confused.

"Your lips are just absurd, Even. This isn't natural. They are so fucking big," said Isak.

"Don't you like them?" said Even with a trace of concern in his voice.

"I'm fascinated," shouted Isak without thinking.

"What? Fascinated?" laughed Even.

He saw Even chuckling under his touch, and Isak smiled like a fool. But his boyfriend was so fucking gorgeous, what could he fucking do? Isak felt so fucking happy. Seeing Even laughing so happily like that made him feel so confident. And Isak just wanted to talk bullshit about his lips for the rest of his life.

"But these are just unreasonable lips, Even," said Isak. "I hope you know that."

"What this even means?" laughed Even.

"Even, entire civilizations could rose and develop just over your lips," said Isak.

"What the fuck, Isak!" Even laughed hard until his eyes turned just a line and crinkles. And Isak had never seen anything more adorable.

“If on Eden instead of Adam and Eve it was Even and Eve. She would probably have bit your lips. Not the apple, Even,” said Isak grinning stupidly. _What the fuck am I talking about?_

"What?" Even's voice cracked, and Isak's heart skipped a beat. "What are you talking about, Isak?".

"I don't fucking know myself," said Isak leaning back and shaking his head. "I'm only saying that I don't know how you are even allowed to carry these lips without a license," said Isak smirking shameless.

"Oh my fucking God, Isak. Stop it! And I am the absurd, really?" said Even smiling so so bright. "So I conclude that my boyfriend liked them?" Even raised an eyebrow.

“Your boyfriend likes everything about you,” said Isak low.

"And I'm the crazy one, can you believe that?" said Even.

"Don't say that," said Isak.

"What? That I'm crazy?" said Even.

"Nah, you can say that. Just don't insinuate that I'm crazy too," said Isak smirking.

"Wow," Even laughed. "Well, at least you like my lips, maybe I should concentrate on that."

"This isn't a matter of whether I liked them or not," said Isak. "These are sinful lips, Even. I probably shouldn't be kissing them for my own good."

"Hum...this is a problem, though," said Even smiling back.

"Why?" said Isak smiling.

"I can't go without kissing you," said Even shaking his head.

"Hm," mumbled Isak, staring at Even's lips.

"But what is life without sins, right? If not just boring?" said Even low staring at Isak's lips.

"Abominable," said Isak hypnotized.

"What?" laughed Even. "Why are you always using words like..."

Before Even could finish the phrase Isak pressed their mouths together softly. Pouring all the tenderness that he could there, bringing a hand to caress Even's cheek, brushing his thumb there. Being with Even made him feel so fucking confident. So he leaned in, grabbing Even's waist and kissing him softly. Taking Even's breath, his sins, and every fucking thing in between.

"Wow," said Even breathless pressing their foreheads together. "Isak, you probably purged all these fucking sins that you were talking about with this kiss."

"So now I have them?" shouted Isak. "Wow. Just feeling used now. Just wow," said Isak.

"What the fuck? You kissed _me_ , Isak!" Even raised an eyebrow smiling.

"And whose fault is that?" said Isak tilting his head up.

"Like...yours!?" said Even amused.  
"Wrong. It's your lips fault, Even," said Isak. "They were tempting me. They were telling me _"Kiss me, kiss me good"_ ".

"Oh great. So I'm bipolar, and my boyfriend is schizophrenic. What a couple," said Even shaking his head.

"Oh my God, Even!" Isak's eyes got wide. "Stop with these jokes!” yelled Isak.

"Why?" said Even trying to hide a smile.

"It's just fucked up," Isak sighed. "I swear to God, Even. If it wasn't by your lips. I wouldn't even be in this relationship".

"Oh my God. No one ever talked that much about my lips. I'm so flattered," smiled Even. "So, baby..." Even hugged him tighter. "Maybe you should let me get back all these sins since you liked my lips that much...".

"Yeah, yeah. It's a shame, but I can't let you have them, you know. After all, what is a life without sins if not just abominable?" said Isak smirking.

"What?" said Even smiling back. "They are mine after all, right? Wasn't that what you were rambling before?."

"Rambling?" Isak scoffed. "Rambling?!" Isak stepped back.

"Isak, come here so I can kiss you," said Even extending a hand towards Isak.

"Not happening. I'm just offended now," said Isak smiling.

"You are laughing, Isak," said Even.

"You know, people have different ways to demonstrate their feelings," said Isak.

"Oh my God. Don't use my own shit on me," said Even, approaching him, making Isak walk backward.

"What are you doing?" said Even smiling and stepping forward again, being followed by Isak stepping back. "Come here, baby. Let me kiss the sins out of you".

"You can try to take them back," said Isak jumping onto a bench. "But you should know that I'm a furtive person. I'm the master of parkour" said Isak giggling.

"So you jumping onto a bench is parkour?" laughed Even raising both eyebrows and approaching Isak with slow steps. "Isak, come back here."

"Sorry, I can't. Now you offended my parkour skills too," said Isak.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, baby. I'm sorry if I offended such an important and inexistent part of your life," said Even laughing.

"Ok, bye. Nice to meet you," said Isak, jumping to the ground again.

"Nice to meet you? Nice to meet you?" said Even scoffing.

"Not that nice actually, but I'm polite," replied Isak. "Bye," said Isak turning around.

But before he could give any extra steps, he felt Even wrapping his arms around his waist and laughing on the back of his neck, giving him shivers on his entire body.

"Wow. You never cease to impress," whispered Even in his ear. "Such ninja skills."

"Shut up," said Isak low, turning around to face Even, feeling his legs weakening.

"Just in case..." said Even grabbing Isak's wrists.

Even looked into Isak's eyes and pushed him backward until Isak's back hit the wall, holding Isak's wrists above his head. Even's blue gaze was making everything inside Isak freeze. What a wonderful way to pass away.

"So, now can I have what is mine?" said Even hoarsely.

"Take it," whispered Isak raising an eyebrow.

"Isak..." Even breathed hard, pressing Isak against the wall with his body. _Oh boy._

Isak closed his eyes and tilted his head up, sliding his nose over Even's one in the process, on purpose. Because yes, he was just discovering how satisfying it was to tease Even. _Sue me_.

"I swear to God, Isak..." said Even sighing and then joining their lips.

_With or Without - Keane version_

[ _https://open.spotify.com/track/2JZUW0wQcUYr7NW7itcHef_ ](https://open.spotify.com/track/2JZUW0wQcUYr7NW7itcHef)

And Even kissed Isak pressed against that building. So fucking sweetly. And no one pinned against a wall should be kissed that slow. No one should have to deal with your mouth being opened like that. Hungrily, but lazily. While your back was harshly pressed against the stone. And slow. Oh boy, so fucking slow. Even pressed his body all over Isak, sliding their mouths together. His lips everywhere. Deliciously lazily. And Isak's whole body was slowly twisting inside him. Even was hurting him so fucking good.

 _Fuck_.

And Isak gave himself away. And he gave. And he gave. He just gave all his self away. And Even took. And took. But always wanting more. And more. Isak was melting, feeling like slipping through that wall. His hands were tied, and he held himself there. But then when Even let go his wrists, dancing their hands together and intertwining their fingers above their heads, still kissing Isak that way. Well, no one pressed against the concrete should have to deal with being wrecked that sweetly.

And Isak was just human after all. He moaned between their mouths, making Even separate their lips, joining their foreheads.

“Isak," said Even breathing in his mouth. "I have never felt anything quite like that. Ever".

"Me neither" whispered Isak back.

Isak's entire body weakened, and he leaned in, resting his head on Even's shoulder and hugging his neck. Feeling the rise and down of Even's chest. And Isak didn't know who of them were more ruined now. He felt his soul bruised so fucking good.

“Isak,” said Even breaking the silence.

“Hm,” it was all that Isak’s mind was capable of answer by now.

"Can we stay in here, like that, forever?” whispered Even.

"Yes, we can," sighed Isak.

"Right here, right now. It’s just perfect, baby,” said Even. “I think that I was just made to love you. It’s probably part of my DNA. Like, my DNA has an extra amino acid, the 'I' amino acid or something like that.”

"Pff. Do you even know what you are talking about?" laughed Isak on Even's shoulder. That was so fucking comfortable, he wouldn't move even if his life depended on it.

"Not really. But was it convincing?" said Even laughing.

"It was ok, for someone that is into media stuff," said Isak.

"How can you keep offending me while literally using my body as a pillow?" said Even.

"Technicalities," said Isak.

"So, Isak, not that I'm complaining, but are you planning to stay there?" said Even amused.

"Yes," said Isak.

"Ok, just checking," laughed Even. "You are so fucking sweet," said Even pressing a kiss to Isak’s hair.

"And you smell good, Even," said Isak.

"Thanks, baby. You smell perfect," said Even.

Isak rolled his eyes.

"I would like to let you know that I'm rolling my eyes now," said Isak.

"Thank you for letting me know, baby," said Even playfully.

"Welcome," said Isak smiling.

"Isak. is it strange that I feel like I know you for my entire life," said Even. "It just feels so right. And now you are probably rolling your eyes again."

"No, I'm not. I feel that too. And don't try to read me. I'm a mysterious person," said Isak.

"Isak?" said Even.

"Yes?" replied Isak.

"I would like to let you know that I'm rolling my eyes now, ok?" said Even laughing.

Isak giggled, making Even laugh back.

"Isak?" said Even.

"Yes?" replied Isak.

"I simply love you," said Even.

"I simply love you too, Even," said Isak back.

Even pressed his lips against Isak's forehead. And Isak pressed his lips against Even's collarbone. They trailed kisses on each other faces until they reached each other mouths. But this time they gave only a single peck. Keeping their lips together for a couple of seconds. And ok, maybe an almost-two-digits-seconds kind of peck. And maybe this couldn't even be categorized as a peck according to the dictionary. But who was checking it? Isak wasn't. Because being like that, staring at each other with a stupid grin on their faces. Well, Isak just felt this almost-two-digits-seconds peck under his skin.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] Colpo di Fulmine: "The thunderbolt, as Italians call it. When love strikes someone like lightning, so powerful and intense it can't be denied."
> 
> Their glass window scene was inspired by Romeo+Juliet aquarium scene (it's not like it was subtle, right lol)
> 
> What do you think? Should I go until chapter 21? Or stop it before?  
> Feel free to suggest things...I would love to have some concepts, prompts...  
> I will give my best to incorporate it. Give me your kinks and what makes your hearts beating faster LOL
> 
> <3  
> Thank you bby boys and bby girls


	13. Lord Commander

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so, for this chapter, I used an art from Finny Red, that kindly authorized me to use it here.  
> An incredible artist that probably you already know, and that just gave us a lot of incredibly beautiful Evak arts.  
> You can check them on Tumblr: finny-red.tumblr.com
> 
> <3
> 
> Thanks for all your comments and support always.  
> I'm sorry if this new chapter took a while, I was busy writing the new verse that I published, childhood AU Best Half Of My Soul. Check it if you are into this thing.
> 
> <3

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3  
> AltErLove
> 
> If you liked it and feel like it, just leave a comment. I would love to know what did you like.


	14. Safe word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I know I didn't update it in a while. I'm sorry for that. I was busy with work, and I had a little vacation.  
> But I gave my best to publish it today.  
> That is a big chapter. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> It's already 4:30 here and I work tomorrow morning. Fuck.  
> Forgive any mistakes.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it.  
> Leave a comment if you feel like it. Every single one just makes me so happy.  
> Some comments I will never forget. You are incredible.  
> <3


	15. Forever and a Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so for this chapter, I just ask you to trust me.  
> *scared*
> 
> One of the inspirations for this chapter: Forever and a Year (Rufus Wainwright), it's in the soundtrack of Holding the Man:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r76RPG0hMlA  
> Beautiful and heartbreaking song, listen to it at your own risk.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

Isak ran downstairs faster than he had ever done before until he reached the front door with his heart beating like crazy. He wasn't sure how much was due to the exercise, and how much was pure adrenaline. He needed to see Even and touch him. Fuck he needed it. But now, with this door between them, Isak took a minute to breathe. There was that little part of his brain, telling him that maybe things wouldn't be the same ever again. That perhaps it was only the calm before the storm. Telling him how much he screwed up.

Isak opened the door and saw Even standing a couple of meters ahead, under the rain. _Idiot_. And Isak couldn't avoid a smile on his face. He was unbelievable. Standing under the rain, with his wet hair all over his face. Seeming like a fucking model, just about to make a photoshoot in the rain.

Even was looking directly at Isak, but he wasn't smiling. That made Isak's stomach twist with anxiety and his smile fade away. They were both looking at each other, studying each other expressions. And suddenly all of it came to Isak, all the stupid arguments, all the hurtful words. Shame took his whole body. Isak looked down and breathed hard. He started tracing circles on the ground with his foot, just for the matter of having anything else to concentrate than Even's piercing gaze over him.

Isak risked a look up again and saw Even's face opening in a fondly smirk, then extending both arms towards Isak, inviting him over. And this was something that Isak would never in a million years refuse. So Isak took some steps further, even if he was still feeling shy and ashamed.

The rain was cold, but Isak couldn't pay attention to it. He reached Even with his eyes lowered and felt Even wrapping both arms around his back. Pulling him closer, hugging him tightly. Isak raised his eyes and tried to say without words. _I'm sorry, baby._

Even pressed their noses together, looking directly into Isak's soul, giving him chills. They didn't talk, just stayed like that, breathing each other, touching and feeling. Seconds were passing by until Isak closed his eyes and sighed. The rain was heavy, but it was ok. It was refreshing somehow. Or maybe it was Even rocking him slowly, like a baby. Isak rested his head on Even's collarbone and allowed himself to be comforted, even if he didn't feel like he deserved it.

"Where is my goodnight kiss?" whispered Even in his ear.

Isak pulled back just a little, seeing Even's beautiful eyes expectantly and he didn't think twice. He pressed their lips together, sighing over Even's mouth, liberating all the tension from the day. Even brought both hands to cup Isak's cheeks, and maybe it was too hard, but Isak didn't complain. He kissed Even, just lips and feelings until Even opened his mouth asking for more, and Isak followed him.

The moment that their tongues touched though, Isak wasn't expecting for that, but suddenly nothing was enough anymore. He brought both hands to keep Even's face in place. Their mouths hardly pressed together. Isak tried to get closer and closer, even when this wasn't physically possible anymore. The kiss quickly progressed to something harsh and desperate. And just all that Isak needed that moment.

They were both kissing for relief. Kissing to heal themselves after the stressful night. Kissing each other with his bodies glued together by their wet clothes. They kissed under the rain until all desperation was washed away and they were just kissing for the sake of kissing, just because it was fucking good. Their arms relaxing and hands running all over each other bodies.

They kissed and kissed, just because they loved each other and there was anything else that they would rather be doing.

They took their time. And when the kiss was just sweet, they separated their mouths and looked at each other. And just seeing Even's sparkling eyes would be enough to make Isak's stomach freeze. But when Even whispered, "You are the love of my life." Isak's insides went to hell. Everything within him was aching and freezing.

Isak was new to all of this, and maybe they were just two naive idiots in love. But Isak didn't genuinely believe that. He knew what he felt, and it was strong. Isak held Even's gaze, and smiled fondly, melting under his touch.

"Forever," Isak replied, seeing Even smiling happily.

 _Can you see what your smiles do to me_? And Isak was probably staring at him like a fool. But he couldn't care less at this moment. Then Even stepped away, planting a kiss on Isak's hand.

"Forever and a year," Even replied before going away.

And Isak, the old Isak, would be rolling his eyes until they popped from his head. But this Isak, this Isak was helpless in love and just enchanted. He stayed there, under the rain, speechless, until he closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel. Love. Through all his body. He loved that man.

And Isak decided that moment, Even deserved better. Even deserved the very best version of Isak. And Isak decided under that cold rain that he would give his best, he would be the best version of himself. For Even. For him. He was the fucking love of his life. And this boy, who held all the stars in his eyes. This boy who shined brighter than the sun. He deserved everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to know your thoughts about this chapter.  
> I hope you get that this wasn't free angst, but it was about getting stronger as a couple, growing together.
> 
> Realistically, they are a very young couple, who found possibly the love of their lives very earlier, and this isn't always easy. To grow up beside another person. So the idea here was to build the foundations where their love will prosper and become solid.
> 
> Love isn't always enough, but they have everything else <3
> 
> PS: I realize I'm cheesy...this Even cheesiness is only a reflection of my own cheesiness ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	16. Even's Appreciation Day - Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all, thanks for all your support always.  
> I hope you like this chapter.  
> <3

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


[ _https://open.spotify.com/track/2CIDqYfIYfl9vx02wIyCG9_ ](https://open.spotify.com/track/2CIDqYfIYfl9vx02wIyCG9)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3  
> Isak had so many things to say to Even that I couldn't make it in one single chapter.  
> Even's Appreciation Part Two coming soon.  
> So, if there is anything you would like to see in Even's Appreciation Day, the time is now, just let me now.
> 
> Your comments made my day, thank you for all your support.


	17. Even's Appreciation Day - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Featuring: people from Even’s life, flashbacks, an important decision and a mystery. And love, oh, so much love.
> 
> This is huuuuuuuge, sorry. So take your cup of coffee and join me <3 :p  
> <3
> 
> Can you believe we are already in chapter 17 of 21?  
> Just 4 more to go :,)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


[ _https://open.spotify.com/track/6mORGLOz79w6VsCRLWYYuK_ ](https://open.spotify.com/track/6mORGLOz79w6VsCRLWYYuK)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

**Next: The night before...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt anything? I would loooove to know about it.  
> Thx for Evakkk who are always hearing about my random shenanigans :P
> 
> Would you like to know about the night before?
> 
> Thx for all your support always <3

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and kudo if you like it <3


End file.
